02 -> we were born to die

[snippysnipe]

[video]

I'm sure some of you out there aren't doing so well with this infestation of monsters, so I have some good news. I have experience fighting beasts, see? And where I'm from, I was one of the greatest mercenaries alive.

Now, if anyone is interested in my services, I am willing to help. Just make me an offer. Make sure it's a good one, though. There better be anemoi involved, or else you're just wasting my time.

((Old 3% spent on archery skills and memory of fighting feral laguz.))

Comments

[has_a_blog]

I got one for you.

How about if you help deal with these things, the monsters won't rip our apartment to shreds and you won't have to live on the street.

[snippysnipe]

Someone with my talents wouldn't be living on the streets.

If you're going to come up with a threat, at least make it something that could reasonably happen.

[has_a_blog]

Eh, you got me. Have fun.

[snippysnipe]

You give up pretty easily, kid.

[has_a_blog]

The more I think about it the less I feel like we need any more raging douchebags on our monster hunting team than we already have. As glowing as your credentials are.

[snippysnipe]

Your loss.

But I'm sure you, the mighty Justice League, and all the other twelve-year-olds will have this dealt with in no time.

[has_a_blog]

Dude, I'm not in the League. Have you met those flaming pack of weirdos?

[snippysnipe]

I've talked to one of them, at least.

From what I know, it's a surprise that the whole city hasn't been torn down by now.

[has_a_blog]

It's not for lack of trying.

[snippysnipe]

Better get out there and help them, then. What are you waiting for?

[myimmunesystem]

[Have an incensed girl in an isolation suit.]

What? There are people dying out there! Isn't helping them enough incentive for you to fight like everyone else?!

[snippysnipe]

No.

[He doesn't even have to think about it.]

[myimmunesystem]

Ugh, of all the horrible, selfish--!

[snippysnipe]

Look, I provide a valuable service.

In a city where the poorest people starve, would you call the baker horrible and selfish if he didn't hand out his bread for free? No, because then the baker would soon be as poor as them. That's why I'm not stupid enough to do charity work.

[myimmunesystem]

They already pay us, you idiot! What do you think the room at Ermis and the stipend is for? They want us to help rebuild and protect the city!

[snippysnipe]

As far as I'm concerned, that payment is compensation for what happened to our memories. Restoring them is work in its own right, and as I was saying, I like being paid for my work. Protecting the city has nothing to do with it.

[trustycrowbar]

[Of all the freaking self-important--]

You know what? Hm, you've got a point. Good talent deserves a little extra something, doesn't it? And it just so happens that I'm sitting on a little extra right now.

[Wait, is he serious?]

[snippysnipe]

[At this point, Shinon should be dubious. Buuuuut--]

I'm listening.

[trustycrowbar]

Yeah. Ran's been an excellent lab assistant! Didn't even ask for payment, just jumped in and proved herself an invaluable asset in computational science! We would be miles away from a cure right now if it weren't for her, and you know, it just wouldn't be right to not compensate her for what she's done for us.

Great idea, Shinon.

[Yes, he did that just so Shinon would get his designer leather breeches in a twist.]

[snippysnipe]

Better do it quick.

Might be hard to once you've been mauled to death.

[trustycrowbar]

I'll take my chances. I'm not a memeber of JLS because they like the way I look in spandex.

[snippysnipe]

Tch. Sorry if I don't sound impressed.