[video] SHINDIG IS AMERICAN FOR 'HOOTENANNY'!

[third_alternative]

Memories sure have pretty bad timing. Turns out, my birthday was practically two weeks ago, on April 27th!

Or, well. That's when I showed up at Providence, anyway. No one's really sure what my birthday is, not even me. Or how old I am, either. But if I had to guess, I'd say I'm about...oh, 17? Yeah, something awesome like that.

Anyway, the point here is, I've got a birthday cake here and not enough bears to eat all of it. [The video zooms out and now it's clear to see that there is a large cake in front of Rex with only one candle in it--shaped like a question mark. Behind him, a quiet group of bears sitting and waiting for their slice.]

So whoever wants a piece better come down in front of the park before it's gone! There's also some other stuff, like a pinata, if cake's not your thing. And after that...well, maybe if anyone thinks they can take me on an empty stomach, I'd be willing to race someone around town.

((OOC: 6.5% on Frostbite, Operation: Wingman, Basic, Promises Promises (the part of that he can remember at all, anyway), Waste Land, and Moonlighting. So basically, filler. 15.1% total memory regain. 1.9% remaining.))

Comments

[trustycrowbar]

[Gordon is in the middle of fiddling with something in the Labs, and only glances at the video screen offhand at the sound of Rex's voice with a quick muttering:]

Huh, happybirthdayRex--

[...And it takes him a second and a half for the whole message to parse before he does a full-on double-take.]

Whoa wait hold on, you invited the neighborhood bears to your birthday party?!

[third_alternative]

Of course I did! After all we've been through together? It wouldn't be fair if I didn't!

[trustycrowbar]

Well, uh... I guess you have a point there.

[At least they're well-behaved for being apex predators that have several hundred pounds on the average human...]

... ...what the hell, it's about lunchtime. I'll be over in ten.

[third_alternative]

Yeah? I'll see you then.

And be sure to bring your own party hat! It's not cake without a party hat.

[trustycrowbar]

...party hat? You gotta be--

[One of the bears grunts loudly.]

...reading my mind or something.

[Jeez. The things he'll do for some cake.]

[third_alternative]

Perfect.

Aaaaand while you're doing that, I'll get the buzzsaw ready.

[trustycrowbar]

[His final shuffling of papers comes to an immediate halt.]

...what buzzsaw?

[third_alternative]

The one I'm using to cut the cake!

Duh.

[trustycrowbar]

Must be a pretty big cake.

[third_alternative]

Well, it's not big enough for this--

[Rex holds up his arm, which is, at the moment, a giant sword with a giant buzzsaw on the tip.]

But hey, if I've got it, why not?

[trustycrowbar]

Hey, uh, 's your day I guess!

[Right, scratch the cake. There won't be any left when he's done with it anyway.]

So, uh, you got any other plans for that teddy bear picnic you've got going?

[third_alternative]

Oh, yeah! I'm thinkin' a game of 'pin the tail on the oso' after the cake.

[trustycrowbar]

Pin the tail on the--

[Yes, he knows the translation but he stops himself because, god help him, the bears might actually understand it.]

You're not going to use the genuine article for that, are you?

[third_alternative]

[Rex raises an eyebrow. He has no idea what you mean.]

Of course I am. It's not like there's a substitute here or anything.

[trustycrowbar]

Do those bears even know what you have in store for them?

[WHY DOES HE HAVE TO ASK THIS QUESTION AT ALL?]

[third_alternative]

Since when did they have to know? Besides, it's not like they'd get it anyway!

[has_a_blog]

...Are those bears?

[third_alternative]

Well, they're definitely not little conejos, if that's what you're asking.

[has_a_blog]

How did you get bears to wait patiently for slices of cake instead of milling about like a bunch of bears?

[third_alternative]

Let's just say...we have a strong working relationship.

[By which he means making them his sadly outmatched sparring partners and his steeds.]

[has_a_blog]

Is that code for "I have magic bear powers"?

[third_alternative]

Pfft, as if! I can just be very persuasive...especially when I've got giant fists!

[Rex demonstrates.]

[has_a_blog]

Oh okay. So just some run of the mill animal abuse. Cool.

[third_alternative]

It's not abuse, it's just sparring! They know what they're getting into!

[has_a_blog]

They're bears.

[third_alternative]

My point exactly!

[has_a_blog]

I'm going back to my magic bear power theory.

[third_alternative]

[shrug.]

If you really want to think of it that way, then go right ahead. I guess it does look like I have magic bear powers to the clueless bystander, after all.