anemoi | OMG SO LATE... T

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shen

OMG SO LATE... T_T

[Action + video on whatever Sirocco has for an internet]

Anyone in or around the police station is going to have an interesting story to tell when they get home, probably only to find out that someone filmed it and it's gone viral in the space of an hour. At about 14:20 the door is kicked open regardless of the fact that it's an automatic sliding door and an enraged giant Peacock comes stalking in, dragging something behind him that's trussed up with a rope. He drags said something through the remains of the doorframe and over the shattered glass.

That something turns out to be a man in a homemade costume comprised mainly of green tentacles.

"Foolisch mortal," the man wheezes, his lateral lisp apparent even behind the tentacle mask that would muffle the diction of Julie Andrews. "You cannot defeat Mighty X'ghthagn'q scho easchily! Reality quakesch in my presenche! Gasche upon the fasche of madne--OW!" He breaks off as he's kicked soundly in the kidneys by a metal-shot foot. Shen then grabs hold of the mess of tentacles and flab and bodily lifts it from the floor, depositing it on the nearest desk with a rather squishy thud.

"I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS NONSENSE!" the bird exclaims. "Do something about this idiot!"

"You will schpend eternity in abject madnesch for thisch! Ia! Ia! X'ghthagh'q fhtagn--" He breaks off again as Shen, having drawn his guan dao, whacks him smartly upside the cranium, rendering him unconscious for a moment.

"There. I've even rendered him docile for you."

As the duty officer whose desk is now covered in betentacled geek opens her mouth to say something, the Mighty X'ghthagn'q stirs and groans. "Whu... whahappen....?"

"Me stopping you getting yourself killed in that ridiculous ensemble happened," Shen answers. He turns on one foot and stalks back out the door, leaving a very flabbergasted police station in his wake.

[Later, action]

An example of the Sirocco PD shows up at the Ermis and is asking around if anyone can tell him where to find the giant white talking Peacock who'd caused so much damage earlier that day.

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A physicists' work is never done. Calibrating equipment, quadruple-checking calculations, getting coffee for the whole damn team again, suiting up, handling radioactive isotopes...

Incapacitating a lithe man in purple cat ears and short shorts calling himself "Cat-Man-Do" and setting the lab animals free for utter fur-bearing chaos...

Hauling his thong-wearing ass over to the police station--wait, what's going on? Why's the door glass broken? Why does that clerk look about ready to panic at the sight of him? And what's that THING on the desk? Well, at least he recognizes someone in the mess. It's hard to mistake a giant albino peacock, after all.

So there Shen finds him, suited up with what looks like an understudy to a production of CATS tucked under one arm.

"Shen, what the hell just happened here?"

"I brought in the Mighty Cth--er, Scgh--er, thhbbbpptt--"

"X'ghthagn'q," the thing on the desk supplies.

"Yes. That. And you've caught yourself... a dancer? Things are never boring at that laboratory, are they?"

Clearly. The females in the room keep staring at Cat-Man-Do's admittedly tight little arse.

"Huh. R'lyeh's standard of living not what it used to be, huh?" He adds off-hand to the thing on the desk, and half-drops the cat-man onto a couch with a quiet (and rather effeminate) groan.

"Caught him while he was trying to set the lab animals free. You know, it's hard to not seriously hurt these people when they're literally trying to scratch your eyes out. Thank god for this suit; I'd have scratches all over otherwise, and if someone asked me where I got them...? I'll be honest, I'd probably have to lie my ass off."

"I wouldn't know," the thing on the desk mumbles. "I live on the upper east schide. What'm I doing here, again?"

Shen ignores the tentacled mess and answers Gordon instead. "I... can't say I'd blame you. This one was flapping about on the campus of the university, screeching nonsense words and something about how the coming... er... thing with a sneeze for a name would devour them all in glory and destruction. When someone tried to reason with him, he went on the attack. Such as it was. I had just happened the other way when the scuffle started. Ridiculous, really."

Then a thought hits him. "Where did you get that armour, anyway?"

"Apparently it'd been waiting for me in the labs. You didn't see it when--oh yeah, it was in the box we were hauling, remember? I'm still not one-hundred-percent on how it works, but--oh right, paperwork." He pauses to fill out the forms the poor clerk had pushed in his direction.

"...I may not know completely how it works, yet, but I do know it makes me stronger and faster on top of the protection and ammo tracking... what do we put under 'code name' if we don't have one again?" He asks the clerk.

"Uh... just your name, I think."

"Riiight." He mutters.

"You could call yourschelf Captain Crowbar!" the thing on the desk suggests. "Ow," he adds as he's thwacked soundly with a wing.

"Would you even want a code name?" Shen asks, quirking an eyebrow. It's quite possible that he sees the superheroism lurking on Gordon's horizon even if Gordon himself doesn't.

"Pfft, c'mon..." He scoffs, although the downcast smirk as he slides the papers back shows that Shen's guess may be closer than he lets on.

"I'm only doing this to protect the Labs and help the guys out at JLS. I give myself a code name, that means I make this official, and that would be..." Really really cool, but... "Kind of ridiculous. We've already got legit superheroes here! Powers and everything. I'm not a superhero. I'm just an ordinary man."

"Hmm. I've noticed ordinary can achieve rather a lot around here."

After all, behind all the kung fu training, Shen's as biologically ordinary as a giant peacock gets. No special powers... he doesn't even fly all that far.

"Seems it doesn't require powers as much as a willingness to do something about all these things that go wrong--"

"Oo! Oo! Isch thisch the mentor pep talk?" the thing on the desk fairly squeebles. "It'sch the mentor pep talk, ischn't it?! Truscht your feelingsch! Schtop tryin to hit them and hit them! Follow your heart! Lischten to your dre--gyerk!" This last occurs as the duty officer grabs him by the tentacles and pulls him off the desk.

"Will somebody just book this moron?" she growls.

[He watches as the well-meaning cephelopoid is hauled away. Then he regards Shen with a smirk.]

Looks like you're the saged mentor I'm supposed to heed the wisdom of. But hell, maybe you've got a point. Sometimes you have to take things into your own hands, even when no one else can. No, especially then.

[Cat-Man-Do, by the way, finally stirs on the couch, wiggling his be-tailed ass first before righting himself.]

"Nnnngh... what happened? Where am I? *GASP* And ohmaigod what am I WEARING? It's not even Saturday night!"

Shen doesn't recall ever having been a mentor but that isn't saying much since he can't even recall where he was hatched at the moment. He rubs the back of his head with one wing.

And he finds a welcome distraction from the whole issue with the flailing occurring on the couch over there, looking, frankly, a little terrified.

"... Was he like that before you brought him in?"

"Yup." He replies while the cat-boi wrist-flaps in panicked indignation. "You know... those skills of yours could really help out in catching these guys. All you have to do is incapacitate without hurting them and bring them in here... minus the property destruction. Plus now that I think about it, you can fly. You'd be able to see more of the city from the rooftops, whereas we all have to just be at the right place at the right time."

Meanwhile, while he's musing the catboi is hyperventilating slightly. "Why am I at the police staytion agaaaaain? Did someone--oh. Ooh. Hell-o there. You, over there. Aren't you... yummy. I think I see what happened here. YOU're the one who kidnapped me weren't you?"

"W-huh?!" Gordon actually bristles a little and shuffles backwards. "Ye--I mean no! I only--"

"Nono coke-bottles, not you. The pretty birdy next to you. What's YOUR name?"

Shen is about to tell Gordon that he just might consider lending a hand with this bout of ridiculous amateur supervillainy that the city appeared stricken with like a virulent case of hives when he notices he's being sashayed toward.

"..." he observes. This is followed by an equally witty: "Whj...." And summed up with a fantastically erudite: "Wh-why d'you want to know?"

Catboi giggles. Gordon for his part, simply stares, wide-eyed. Sure, yeah, it takes all types to make a world and all that sort of thing but... SERIOUSLY?

"I'm a sucker for a sexy voice. And well... you've got some niiice plumage on top of that. What do you say we go and--ACK!" He yelps as the cop takes him by the collar like an amorous kitten by the scruff of the neck.

"C'mon, buddy, you're here because you were wrecking havoc in the Labs! Capitan Crowbar over there brought you in!"

"Gck--I'm not Captain Crowbar, dammit!" Gordon protests.

All Shen can do is stare at Cat-Man-Do is hauled away. His right eye twitches when the thong-wearing pseudocriminal blows him a kiss before vanishing behind a door.

He looks at Gordon. Then at the duty officer. Notices said officer is female.

"... Do I really have that attractive of a voice?" he asks, nonplussed.

"Not my place to say, sir," the duty officer replies with admirable detachment, though she can't hide the blush that crosses her face quite so easily. Shen sighs. Facewings. "Perhaps I'll, er, just make my way to the League headquarters now, shall I?"

"...They're probably not going to tell you much more than I already have." He adds, more than happy that the topic of Shen's sexy voice is behind them. "I'm not checking in with them or anything myself. I'm mostly just protecting the Labs."

[It's not much of a secret that Sherlock holds a lot of disdain for the Sirocco PD, and it's also not much of a secret that, within weeks of his arrival, the Sirocco PD has grown to dislike him as well.

In fact he's already insulting the poor guy.]

Are you really so incompetent that a talking bird can do your job better than you? No, wait, don't answer that, of course you are.

[Someone get over here before he gets himself punched.]

The officer in question barely conceals a sigh. Oh, great. Him.

"Sir, could you just tell me where the talking peacock is?" He overenunciates, hoping this 'Sherlock' (good god, they all know him by name) asshole will just get to the point.

I'd think a giant talking peacock is easy enough to spot, or are you blind as well as incompetent?

[Oh god, Sherlock, stop insulting the police officers.]

Oh, for the luvva-- The man sighs and facepalms.

"You know, I could technically bring you in for unruly conduct but that would mean we'd have to listen to your needlessly insulting and frankly puerile commentary in an enclosed space."

Woah. Looks like you got one with a vocabulary AND a short temper. He flips his standard issue notebook shut and pockets it. "Clearly no leads, here. Have a pleasant day, sir." By which he means, of course, Go eat a bag of dicks, you unmitigated recursive singularity of asshole.

With that, he continues on to another apartment.

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OMG SO LATE... T_T

[Later, Action]

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brb dying here. XD

That lateral lisp just kills you every time, dunnit? X3

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[action]

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