anemoi | oh god who left this schmuck in charge

[ACTION]

*Kotetsu is having a really, really bad day.

It started off with a morning memory of one of his most embarrassing high school moments. Furthermore, he's been feeling mildly sick, possibly due to something he ate. And now on top of it, more stupid villains are running around, and Booster is missing. Again. He's beginning to think he's gonna have to staple that guy to the Justice League building.

So now, for the lack of a secretary, guess who's having to handle all the official business?*

No, I told you I don't know where the hell he is! If you just leave a message, I'll try to -- oi! OI! Don't just hang up like -- grrr! *phone slam. Ring.*

Hello, Justice League? You got some guy calling himself the Big Baby? Look, we're doing our best, but we're stretched thin as -- *ring* Could you hold please?

Hello, Justice League? ...WHO THE CRAP CARES ABOUT THE FRIGGIN' REFRIGERATOR?! *slam* Sorry about that, as I was say -- *ring* ARRRRGH.

*There's a reason he's not usually in charge of this sort of thing.*

((And yes, I just used 1% of his regains for a throwaway memory, shut up.))

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[*ring ring ring* Joker's disguising his voice]

Oh hello, is this the Justice League?

*Okay, gotta try to be professional here.*

Yes, this is the Justice League. Wild Tiger speaking.

[Ah, it's Captain Hipster! Joker grin as he curled the cord around his his fingertips - continuing that housewife-falsetto he's using]

I know you must be very busy and all but I just saw this very dangerous man sneaking about - he... came into my neighbor's apartment and after that, she started acting weird!

[Joachim staggers back to the building, covered in pie filling and yellow feathers.]

Well, it should a good long while before we hear from the Chocobo Crusader again! Now please, please tell me that was the last of them.

*Whoa. Okay, he's sitting up straight now.*

No no, ma'am, we're getting to everything we can. But can you tell me anything about this man? What made you decide he was dangerous?

Yeah, uh, no.

*He plunks down a fairly sizable list of names he's taken down.*

This is getting friggin' stupid, Joachim! We can't keep up this level much longer!

[The grin grew wider]

He was lurking about, like he's trying not to be seen - and that laugh...

*Shit, shit! No way, is he finally getting sloppy?*

Is there any chance he's still there, or you saw where he went? This is really important, ma'am!

Oh - okay! I'll go check let's see... Oh god he's

[the voice deepens]

Right. Here. Mememe MehahaWAHAHA....

*Give him a sec.*

JOKER! You bastard, the hell do you think you're doing?! You think you're real funny, don't you?!

Whoa, this place is more of a mess than Professor Kleiner's office... hey Booster! You h--Oh, hey Kotetsu. [Gordon says as he rounds the corner to Booster's office. He'd stopped in over his lunch break and the last thing he'd expected, was to see Tiger tied up in phone lines instead. Somewhere between calls, he manages to get in:]

You, uh... haven't seen Booster at all lately, have you?

[Call it a hunch, but he's pretty sure the answer is no.]

Ugh, hang on... *To the phone* I know your cat's important, ma'am, but could you try calling the fire department instead? We're kinda busy. *to Gordon* I wish. I should be out dealing with this crap, not dealing with everybody else's!

Huh. Here I thought he was pulling all-nighters again, because I haven't seen him back at the apartment lately. Come to think of it, I haven't seen him at the coffee shop either... [And that seems somehow more alarming.]

*Kotetsu pauses on the phone.*

Sorry, can you call back in a bit? I have something urgent to get to.

*He hangs up.*

How long.

Since the night before last. He keeps some weird hours, but this is worse than before he tried to quit.

[And guess who is limping in, holding an ice pack to his head and generally looking like a mess? Surprisingly enough, yes, it's Bunny. He also happens to be covered from head to toe in Jell-O.]

Want to trade?

He hasn't sent any weird messages either. I don't like this one bit. You don't think maybe...

No we don't want any, we're a business! Stop calling! *hangs up* Really goddamn tempting. Do I wanna know why you look like you crash landed on a barbecue picnic's dessert table?

Because I did. Someone calling himself the Breakdance Master knew more about martial arts than I thought he did.

[He is also currently in jail, and Barnaby's tone makes it obvious that he does not want to go over the details again.]

*He kinda wishes he could've seen that now. Oh well.*

At least the Jell-O wasn't his weapon or something. Geez, you have NO idea the crap I've been dealing with today.

It's a small mercy. And I've heard enough to get a good idea.

The friggin' Joker himself's been crank-calling too. Tried to get someone to trace it but he keeps moving around. You have NO idea how much I wanna drag that lunatic into the pen!

I'm starting to have a good idea of that as well.

[Pause. Oh, hell.]

So now he's taunting us, while we're stretched thin dealing with all these "villains" that keep popping up, and on top of that, Booster's disappeared again, on top of some more disappearances that...

[Wait. Hold the phone. Maybe, just maybe...]

How many missing persons reports have we been getting lately?

Way too damn many. If it's not a new freaking villain, it's a missing person report.

Wait... you're not suggesting what I think you are?

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oh god who left this schmuck in charge

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