and so it begins....

[third_alternative]

[Today Rex has managed to fashion a basketball hoop and attach it to the side of the Ermis Suites. He has also managed to acquire a truly preposterous quantity of basketballs. He figured he'd need them after the first couple rebounded out of the city and somewhere into the forest a few miles away.]

Alright... Get in the hoop...!

[He holds his breath as he tosses the basketball. It soars through the air, touches the rim of the hoop...and rebounds! Rex groans, but then he sees the basketball simply...vanish into thin air.

Stunned, he tries again. Same results.

Again. The ball disappears like the others.

...Well. Might as well keep trying. After all, he does have a preposterous amount of basketballs still left.]

Comments

[nomen_est_numen]

And one of those basketballs that flew out of the city entirely followed a graceful, miles-long parabolic arc and came whizzing into the forest at nearly terminal velocity.

It bounced off of the head of a white-and-red Peacock with a resounding PONKK!

...

thud

After a moment, birds in the trees went right back to chirping and the Peacock remained facedown on the forest floor, profoundly unconscious.

The ball rolls away.

[third_alternative]

[Does a basketball hitting a peacock make a sound if no one is around to hear it?]

[nomen_est_numen]

For the purposes of narration, it does. And probably also for the purposes of those squirrels and such that watched it all happen.

[life_is_megas_wonderful]

Heya! Whatchyas doing?

[third_alternative]

Playing basketball.

[life_is_megas_wonderful]

Ooh, really? That's great! You look like your'e having a little trouble hitting the basket though!

[third_alternative]

[....He really can't deny it.]

Then how about you try it, huh?

[life_is_megas_wonderful]

Huh? Well okay! Betchas I'll do just as bad, though!

*She shoots. It's not the CLEANEST basket...*

Oh hey! I got it in! I got it in! Hooray!

[third_alternative]

[Rex gapes for a moment, but he tries not to make it obvious. He recovers quickly, though.]

Lucky shot.

[He aims with another ball that rebounds off the far edge of the hoop, flies back at him, bounces off his head, and flies off into outer space.]

Ow!!

[life_is_megas_wonderful]

Aww. That's okay! I'm sure you'll get a basket eventually! Just keep practicing!

*She turns away; it's at that exact moment that a totally different ball that doesn't look like a standard issue basketball appears and flies in, nothing but net. Tsuruya hears the sound and turns around, thumbs up.*

See? What'd I tells ya?

[stinglikeabat]

[A ball rockets out from the treeline far away, descends rapidly, and clonks Rex neatly in the back of the head.]

[third_alternative]

[Rex gapes at the strange ball that goes through the hoop cleanly, but before he can comment on it, he gets another basketball to the head. This one rebounds off his head and into the hoop, just as cleanly as the first one.]

Great, what now?!

[alittleblackmagic]

...Are you casting Blink on your balls or are you just really bad at this game?

[third_alternative]

I think the phrase you're looking for here is "really good."

[He shoots again, and it rebounds vertically up, up, up....and then disappears. Like all the rest. Rex groans.]

[alittleblackmagic]

...

Aren't you supposed to get it through that hoop thing?

[third_alternative]

[Rex only grumbles as he picks up another ball. This one managed to hit the rim...then go around it...once...twice...three times...it stops for several seconds, just hanging on the edge of the rim...

and then falls, disappearing into the sidewalk as if through some space-time portal.]

[alittleblackmagic]

...Or maybe there's just something wrong with your balls.

[third_alternative]

Hey, my balls are perfectly okay!

[alittleblackmagic]

Fine. How many have you gotten through the hoop, then?

[third_alternative]

...Plenty!

[alittleblackmagic]

I've been watching ten minutes and I haven't seen one.

[third_alternative]

You've been watching me for ten minutes?

...That's pretty creepy.

[alittleblackmagic]

Stop changing the subject!

I was thinking about when it would be funniest to freeze your balls but after a while, I realized you didn't need my help to mess up.

[trustycrowbar]

[*sipppp--*]

[You see that coffee cup in his hand? It, the newspaper he's reading, the cafe table and the food on it are all scattered violently by an errant basketball. The other patrons recoil and he's left wearing a fresh coat of coffee, bagel bits, cured salmon and cream cheese.]

[How it managed to make it ten miles across town is a REALLY GOOD QUESTION. He may ponder that, after he stops cursing.]