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anemoi2011-11-15 09:36 pm
thekoistiger.livejournal.com) wrote in anemoi2011-11-15 09:36 pm
Entry tags:
Not a copyright infringement in the slightest.
WHO: Dave Strider, Vriska Serket, Rin Tohsaka, and Shirou Emiya, plus NPCs.
WHAT: Battles with Turtles and Mushrooms!
WHEN: Tuesday, November 15.
WHERE: A worryingly familiar setting.
NOTE: The ending is rated NC-17. For trolls, anyway.
dragomorph: When you emerge from the portal, you're in what seems like a fairly normal forest. Initially, anyway.
dragomorph: The further you walk in, though, the more the trees seem to change in texture and consistency; only after a while do you realize they're not trees anymore, but giant mushrooms!
EricOverbringer: Dave: "If I see a rabbit in a waistcoat out here I am flipping the fuck out"
HurricaneChris04: Shirou: "Since when do mushrooms get this big?"
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska says nothing for the moment, rolling a pile of eight-sided dice between her fingers.
dragomorph: As you walk, you eventually come across what seems to be a smaller, waist-high group of mushrooms, with even smaller mushrooms growing at their bases. There's something odd about them...
EricOverbringer: Dave peers closer at the mushrooms, trying to figure out what seems off about this.
ZebulonCrispi: As far as Vriska's concerned, this could be totally normal Earth foliage, so it's up to our human heroes to spot anything odd!
s.a.b.e.r: Rin's hardly distracted by the idle chatter - placing her focus on their surroundings. Enjoy the silence while you can.
HurricaneChris04: Shirou, like Dave, peers closer.
dragomorph: Well, the fact that one of them's apparently just opened its eyes and is snapping its jaws at you is a big indicator.
dragomorph: Apparently, those smaller shrooms are just its FEET. Oh dear.
EricOverbringer: Dave hops the fuck back in alarm
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "About time!"
EricOverbringer: Dave: "There's no way you were expecting that."
HurricaneChris04: Shirou jumps back, but...catches his foot on a root and stumbles.
HurricaneChris04: *on a rock
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "That's ridiculous! How could you go searching for radical loot and not expect to find any bloodthirsty monsters in the way?"
dragomorph: The other ones wake up as well and begin to shuffle towards you all, looking rather peeved. They're not very fast...
dragomorph: ...though the lack of legs might explain that one.
s.a.b.e.r: Rin can't help but laugh at Shirou's misery. Who cares if there's a ton of mushrooms making their way towards them? There's comedy to be had.
EricOverbringer: Dave: "Whatever, they're slow, I bet we can just kinda run by them."
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "Absolutely not!"
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "How will you know if you're ready for the inevitable stronger monsters later on if we don't defeat these ones?"
dragomorph: If it makes it slightly more worthwhile, there's a hollow behind them that looks like it has some boxes in it.
EricOverbringer: (About how big are the mushroom men?)
dragomorph: (About knee height on an adult.)
dragomorph: Either way, they don't look like they're going to leave you alone, so...
dragomorph: (Dave, Vriska, Rin, Shirou)
dragomorph: (...and since we're not even pretending at this point: (Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rr70dLy5yKg)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rr70dLy5yKg )
EricOverbringer: Dave: "Okay that's stupid. but this is also stupid, so..."
EricOverbringer: Dave gets his ridiculous looking sword out and chops at one of the mushroom men!
dragomorph: Ridiculous mushroom men don't move very well. Or defend very well. Which is why you now have two halves of one mushroom man -- but the other one's right there to try to get a chomp in.
dragomorph: (Dave React)
HurricaneChris04: Shirou just...looks at the sword for a moment. Barely registering his surroundings.
EricOverbringer: Dave plants one foot in the mushroom man's face at shoves it back as hard as he can
dragomorph: Spinny mushroom man! Wheeeeeee. It looks dizzy.
dragomorph: (Vriska)
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "All right, let's see what these things can do!"
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska rolls the FLOURITE OCTET, eight dice scattering onto the ground before her.
ZebulonCrispi: All together, she rolls a 41: THE OMNIVORE'S SOLUTION.
ZebulonCrispi: An enormous knife appears in her left hand, and an enormous fork in her right!
EricOverbringer: (Link: http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=003728)(Ridiculous sword, for reference)
ZebulonCrispi: She has no idea how to use these, but how hard could it be? Commence turning the nearest mushrooms into cream of mushroom soup. +
dragomorph: What? That's silly, you don't have the ingre -- oh wait, she's somehow managed to turn one of them into a nice mushroom bisque. That's... talent.
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska captchalogues the mushroom bisque.
ZebulonCrispi: Whatever that means.
dragomorph: The others move in with seemingly no regard for their own health, chomping at anybody in their way. Right now, the front line is Vriska and Dave, so clearly they're trying to turn the eating tables.
dragomorph: (React Dave and Vriska)
ZebulonCrispi: PUNT. +
EricOverbringer: PUNCH. +
dragomorph: Punted! It lands on its little mushroom butt. The other one gets its face nicely staved in for its effort.
dragomorph: Only a couple left now.
dragomorph: (Rin)
s.a.b.e.r: With her right arm lifted, she'll cover her nose and mouth with it. The other is getting GANDR'D. Don't know how effective a sick mushroom guy would be, but eh..+
dragomorph: Mushroom men apparently don't have a lot of status immunity. It because sneezing and sneezing. This has the slight side effect of it shaking loose some spores, though.
dragomorph: The last one looks around, FINALLY begins to question the logic of this, and begins very slowly waddling in the other direction.
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "Victory!"
HurricaneChris04: Shirou lowers his bow. Apparently he wasn't needed.
dragomorph: For now, anyway. That's okay, it was kind of a gimme battle anyway.
EricOverbringer: Dave: "Don't spend that EXP all in one place. Let's see what's in the boxes"
dragomorph: Anyway, the hollow reveals some boxes. There's indications they SHOULD open from the top, but there doesn't seem to be any way to pry the lid open that you can see from here.
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska is wrestling with one of them. "Come on!"
dragomorph: They seem to be relatively lightweight, at least. Made of iron, though. Maybe there's a catch somewhere...
EricOverbringer: Dave kicks one of them over to get a look at them from every side
HurricaneChris04: Shirou is rotating one around, looking at it.
dragomorph: The bottom looks like it has some sort of small indent.
EricOverbringer: *poke*
dragomorph: It gives a little, but seems to need a little more force.
EricOverbringer: *punch*
dragomorph: The top of the box flips around, ejecting the contents. Of course, since it's tipped on its side, that means it falls onto the ground. It'
dragomorph: looks like a large, rather tasty looking mushroom.
HurricaneChris04: Shirou does the same for the box he's holding.
EricOverbringer: Dave: "Cool. I guess you hit them on the bottom to open them"
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska gives a box a swift kick in the indentation!
dragomorph: Shirou seems to have lucked out; there's a nice cache of gold coins in this one.
s.a.b.e.r: Rin is a little less gentle with the one near her - she beats on it without mercy.
ZebulonCrispi: The OMNIVORE'S SOLUTION is gone now, by the way.
dragomorph: Vriska's shoots out a flower that skitters along the ground a good distance away! Rin's, meanwhile, has a star. This all seems oddly abstract...
EricOverbringer: Dave does not eat his mushroom. Because that would be fucking stupid.
HurricaneChris04: Shirou: "Whoa! I wonder how much these are worth..."
EricOverbringer: Eating a random mushroom you found in a box? You'll get high or something.
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska's holding onto the flower, at least. It's OBVIOUSLY treasure.
ZebulonCrispi: So very treasure.
EricOverbringer: *Captchalogue MushrooM8
EricOverbringer: *
s.a.b.e.r: Rin: So I got a gold star for my performance? Not bad, not bad..
dragomorph: Sadly, there is a distinct lack of small, green jewels in any of them. But what do you expect from such a simple battle?
HurricaneChris04: That gets an aside glance from Shirou.
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "Clearly we need to find some more deadly monsters to slay."
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "Let's go!"
s.a.b.e.r: Rin: What's with that look?
HurricaneChris04: Shirou: "...What look?"
EricOverbringer: Dave would be giving Vriska a "You are crazy" but he doesn't give enough of a shit
EricOverbringer: Onwards!
dragomorph: The forest eventually opens up to a large plain; a bit of a distance away, a rather large castle looms. If you squint, you can see small somethings fluttering around it.
ZebulonCrispi: He would be right if he did, though.
HurricaneChris04: Shirou: "What's a castle doing out here in the middle of the wilderness?
EricOverbringer: Dave: "Looking for Anemoi?"
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "Waiting to be pillaged, is what!"
s.a.b.e.r: Rin nods eagerly at Vriska's statement. She wants the good stuff, alright?
dragomorph: Their approach doesn't go unnoticed; upon closer inspection, the flying things appear to be turtles of some sort. One of them sounds the alarm, and the gate to the castle opens.
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska turns to Shirou.
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "You didn't get a chance to do anything interesting last fight, right? You lead."
HurricaneChris04: Shirou: "Flying tur--wait, what?"
dragomorph: A hoarde of ground-based turtle soldiers emerge, wielding spears and swords. The flying ones also swoop in, ready to defend. Looks like this is going to be a bit more of a serious fight.
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "Take point! Onwards, towards glory or whatever!"
dragomorph: Congratulations! You've just been nominated to lead against... let's see, looks to be about six ground troops and four flying! ...yay.
s.a.b.e.r: Rin: Yeah, lead the charge Shirou!
dragomorph: (Dave Shirou, Dave, Vriska, Rin)
HurricaneChris04: There is quite the exasperated look on Shirou's face as he draws his bow. He sets an arrow into it, takes aim at one of the flying turtles, and shoots.+
dragomorph: The turtle in question had the misfortune of being in the process of swooping down to attack; the arrow connects with its head, which is not protected by that shell, and it goes down immediately.
dragomorph: You might want to watch out for that falling shell, though. Meanwhile, the ground troops see Shirou as a serious issue for their air force and begin descending on him. One of them makes it and swings its sword in his direction.
dragomorph: The shell looks like it's gonna fall on Dave if he's not careful.
dragomorph: (Dave, Shirou react)
HurricaneChris04: Shirou leaps sideways and hits the ground rolling.
EricOverbringer: ((Link: http://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/beatdown-strider-style-2)music link for awesome) Dave hops backwards as he turns on the mini-AC on his sword, surrounding the blade in a swirling cloud of ice and mist. Then he dashes forwards again and swings it at the closes of the turtle soldiers, sending out a shockwave of ice crystals at the turtles behind it!+
EricOverbringer: Incomprehensibly, using the freezing powers of the sword also causes half of the blade to vanish a few seconds later, leaving him with a broken snow-cone sword
dragomorph: The turtle gets sliced through the weak underbelly and goes down. The turtles behind duck into their shells, although the one closest to the fallen soldier can't duck in time and is frozen in place.
dragomorph: The one behind those two charges Dave just as one of the flying turtles swoops down towards him. A second one folds into its shell and, spinning, charges straight towards Vriska and Rin!
EricOverbringer: Dave stares at his sword in dismay, "What the hell man?"
dragomorph: (Dave, Vriska, Rin react)
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska does a 90s action roll out of the way!
EricOverbringer: Dave dives over it and lands in a heap on the other side!
s.a.b.e.r: It's just a stupid turtle.... but Rin isn't stupid enough to try to stay in the way. She'll leap off to the side in a less flashier way than the homestuck kiddos.
dragomorph: There is a bit of a side effect to this charge effect as the shell shoots off into the distance. It'll take a bit for him to return. Meanwhile, the flying turtle just barely avoids colliding into the ground troop, and they both turn towards Dave.
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dragomorph: There is a bit of a side effect to this charge effect as the shell shoots off into the distance. It'll take a bit for him to return
dragomorph: Meanwhile, the flying turtle just barely avoids colliding into the ground troop, and they both turn towards Dave.
dragomorph: (Vriska)
ZebulonCrispi: Another 8d8! This time, the roll is an even 30 - STRETCHBEAST RUMPUS.
ZebulonCrispi: A bunch of what appear to be large, furious weasels appear and start biting the hell out of enemies on the ground. +
dragomorph: Ouch! Owie! Ow! Feet! Feeeeeet! The ground troops start panicking a bit as they try to get out of the way of the little bitey bastards. They're too occupied right now to strike back!
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "...so I guess I'm unarmed now? This is sort of stupid."
dragomorph: But one of the flying turtles ain't too happy with you, and it throws its spear down at Vriska, charging after it to reclaim it wherever it may land.
dragomorph: (Vriska react)
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska, actually trying to be badass instead of just wacky for once, dodges slightly out of the way, and tries to grab the spear out of the air as it passes by. &
dragomorph: The spear lands point first into the ground. Turtle's close behind... time for that awesome!
dragomorph: Or, rather, it would land, if Vriska allowed it...
ZebulonCrispi: The spear is then picked from the ground, and flung back into the face of the turtle who threw it in the first place! +
ZebulonCrispi: (whoops sorry)
dragomorph: S'cool.
dragomorph: (eh heh.)
dragomorph: Shish kabob turtle.
dragomorph: The frozen turtle finally works its way loose from the ice, and you can see the one that shot away trotting back towards the group. The rest of the ground troops continue to converge.
dragomorph: (Rin)
s.a.b.e.r: The frozen turtle seems to be the easiest target for Rin, so she'll waste little time in rushing towards it to deliver some good 'ol fashioned nasuverse kung fu+
dragomorph: Aw man, it was just about finished too. And now it's just a shell shooting waaaaaaaay off in the distance. He's probably not rejoining anytime soon.
dragomorph: But that means the other ground troops are all swinging their weapons at Rin. Welp.
dragomorph: (Rin react)
EricOverbringer: (Support!)
dragomorph: (Dave support!)
EricOverbringer: Dave dashes past them all with his busted-ass sword, samurai style. Seconds later, every weapon targetting Rin that he succeeded on will shatter!+
EricOverbringer: succeeded on hitting right*
dragomorph: The busted ass sword isn't probably as effective as he'd like. But he does deflect two, while the third turtle's spear breaks apart like ice to its startlement. He knew he should've gone sword...
s.a.b.e.r: Rin: Ugh.. I had everything under control, you know. Now I'm stuck in your debt.
dragomorph: (Current battle status: x2 Flying, x2 Turtle Troops, x1 Turtle w/ broken weapon, x1 Turtle returning after next action)
dragomorph: (Shirou)
EricOverbringer: Dave: "It's all part of my sinister plan"
EricOverbringer: "Also you're welcome"
HurricaneChris04: Shirou draws his bow and sets an arrow again, and once more he targets one of the flying turtles. He focuses on his target and lets the arrow fly.+
dragomorph: This turtle has the sense to turn its shell towards the arrow, causing it to shatter against the carapace. It swoops down to counterattack.
dragomorph: (Shirou react)
HurricaneChris04: Shirou ducks down, then leaps upwards, throwing a punch at its underbelly once in range!
dragomorph: Well that took the wind out of its sails. It falls over and lands on its back. And can't get back up! Who wants 1-ups?
dragomorph: (Dave)
EricOverbringer: Somehow, using the broken sword feels just as natural as using the complete sword. Dave engages the two remaining koo-, er, turtle troops in a furious sword fight with a speedy series of feints and jabs.+
dragomorph: It is an awesome swordfight despite the shitty broken sword. One of the turtles can't keep up the speed and eventually gets too injured to continue; the other seems to keep up the pace pretty nicely. En garde!
dragomorph: The last flying turtle dives towards Dave as he fights, hoping to catch him distracted.
dragomorph: The one that had shot off has finally caught up and is charging towards Shirou!
dragomorph: (Shirou, Dave react)
EricOverbringer: A second dave, wearing different clothing, appears in a flash of light and shoulder checks the turtle out of the way at the last second, before vanishing!
EricOverbringer: Dave never even noticed
dragomorph: Well, that one literally doesn't know what the hell hit it, landing on the ground and hitting its head. It's out like a light.
HurricaneChris04: "Trace, on." Shirou quickly runs through the steps of reinforcement, and because he's in a tense situation, actually succeeds for a change.
HurricaneChris04: He then lets fly with the reinforced arrow at the charging turtle.
dragomorph: It turns its shell towards the arrow and it bou -- wait, actually it just punched through and pieced the turtle but good. Welp.
dragomorph: The turtle with the broken weapon has already retreated into the castle, starting the process of pulling up the drawbridge.
dragomorph: (Vriska)
ZebulonCrispi: (There's a flipped turtle, right?)
dragomorph: (Yep)
ZebulonCrispi: Oh, no you don't Vriska jumps on that flipped turtle and RIDES IT LIKE THE MECHANICAL BULL or possible the skateboard towards the drawbridge, totally just bodyslamming into anyone that gets in her way.
dragomorph: 100 points! wait what
dragomorph: There's still a turtle dueling with Dave. It's a flurry of blades man.
dragomorph: (Rin)
s.a.b.e.r: Well, if Dave is going to interrupt *her* fight, the only thing she can do in return is try to return the "favor". Don't mind her doing the only thing she really still knows how to do (another round of Gandr), it's just that leet fightan with the swords and yadda yadda. +
dragomorph: Fightfightfightfight -- ACHOO! ACHOO! The turtle has to time out for a bit due to a nasty bit of hay fever all of a sudden.
dragomorph: (Dave react)
EricOverbringer: Dave takes advantage of the distracted turtle to finish it off!
dragomorph: Tonight we dine on turtle soup.
dragomorph: Seems like you guys have successfully beaten down the defenders. Time to storm the castle!
ZebulonCrispi: Vrika: "Time to storm the castle!"
EricOverbringer: Dave turns off the AC, and a few seconds after that the sword fixes itself. What the hell.
dragomorph: The castle's decor is... special. For one, there are several elevated platforms and bridges over what appears to be lava (although curiously, you don't seem to be experiencing much of a convection effect. Odd.)
HurricaneChris04: Shirou: "...What the heck is with this castle?"
EricOverbringer: Dave: "It's an endboss castle, obviously"
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "This looks about right, yeah."
EricOverbringer: Dave: "The Lava is a little odd, though."
s.a.b.e.r: Rin is just going to look at Shirou expecting him to explain the foreign term 'endboss castle'.
dragomorph: One door seems to be guarded by long bars engulfed in flames. There are a couple of gargoyles framing it. If you squint, one of them looks a little off.
HurricaneChris04: Unfortunately for Rin, no explanation is forthcoming.
EricOverbringer: Dave squints
ZebulonCrispi: While Dave is squinting at the statue, Vriska pushes it over.
EricOverbringer: Doesn't take off his sunglasses though. Let's not get crazy
dragomorph: It shifts, and falls off. There's a switch! ...way up there. Ho boy. It's going to take someone really tall to get that one.
HurricaneChris04: That gives Shirou an idea. He sets an arrow, draws his bow, and fires the arrow at the switch.
dragomorph: *kaclick* The fire around the bars shuts off, and they slowly retract upward.
s.a.b.e.r: Rin: Wow, that's pretty good. (A rare compliment, Shirou. ENJOY IT)
dragomorph: Deeper into the castle you go. Eventually, there's another door sealed shut. In the corners of the room are what appears to be torches high up, but they aren't lit like all the others are.
dragomorph: (Could they make these any more obvious? Gawd.)
EricOverbringer: Dave: "Anyone else here feel like they should be holding a controller?"
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "Nope!"
HurricaneChris04: Shirou: "Not...really?"
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska grabs a random lit torch and flings it at one of the unlit torches.
EricOverbringer: Dave: "Alright"
s.a.b.e.r: Rin will just be left stumped trying to figure out what a controller is.
dragomorph: The flame just barely touches the top of the unlit sconce, but it's enough to set it off. Now do it for the other three.
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "There has to be a better way to do this."
EricOverbringer: Dave: "I got nothing. If I had a fire sword, maybe, but..."
EricOverbringer: Dave: "Can we light those arrows on fire?"
EricOverbringer: *at Shirou*
HurricaneChris04: Shirou: "Uh. Technically yes, but..."
HurricaneChris04: He doesn't look too thrilled with the idea.
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "Do it!"
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "It is clearly the superior option."
s.a.b.e.r: Rin: Might as well take the risk and do it. That's three against one.
EricOverbringer: Dave conveniently holds the torch
EricOverbringer: Dave: "Not like arrows are impossible to replace"
HurricaneChris04: Well, as long as they aren't lighting the arrow while it's in the bow. Shirou takes aim and fires at an unlit torch through the lit torch.
dragomorph: *Fwoom!*
dragomorph: Looks like that did the trick. Two more oughta do it.
HurricaneChris04: And Shirou does it twice more.
dragomorph: That seems to have done it. The door slowly slides open.
dragomorph: And oh crap duck there's a big fireball coming your way
HurricaneChris04: Shirou hits the dirt!
ZebulonCrispi: YOUTH ROLL
EricOverbringer: NORMAL ROLL
s.a.b.e.r: Right, the whole diving face first into things.
dragomorph: Fireball averted. But upon going through the door, you can see the source of it pretty immediately -- the biggest goddamn turtle yet, with lots of spikes, standing on a bridge guarding what looks to be one final room behind him.
dragomorph: And he looks pissed.
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "HERE we go!"
EricOverbringer: Dave: "Oh hell no."
HurricaneChris04: Shirou: "Okay, this seems REALLY familiar, and I'm not liking it!"
s.a.b.e.r: Rin: It's just a turtle.
dragomorph: A turtle breathing fire at you, yes.
dragomorph: Like, right now.
dragomorph: (Dave, Vriska, Rin, Shirou)
dragomorph: (All react)
HurricaneChris04: Hitting the dirt! Again!
EricOverbringer: Dave swings his sword again, simultaneously creating a shield of ice and breaking it again!
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska ducks out of the way but forwards! Enough of this pansy staying back crap.
s.a.b.e.r: Upon seeing Vriska advance, Rin will mimic her in the same fashion. Let the boys hide behind them. That's fine with her.
dragomorph: Girls takin' charge! The fireball misses, though you might find a few hairs scorched.
dragomorph: (Dave)
EricOverbringer: Dave ducks around the side of his ice shield and advances, sending periodic ice blasts, his sword breaking and unbreaking at seemingly random intervals
dragomorph: The huge turtle gets hit by some of the blasts, bats away some of the others, and melts a few with his fireballs. It looks mildly wounded, but hardly slowed. A fireball's going right for that barrier, Dave.
dragomorph: (Dave react)
EricOverbringer: Dave isn't behind the barrier anymore, so fuck it
dragomorph: It offended its sensibilities, all right? B|
dragomorph: (Vriska)
EricOverbringer: Alright
ZebulonCrispi: One last roll of the Fluorite Octet!
ZebulonCrispi: The roll is a 23 - LV23 SLEUTH DIPLOMACY.
ZebulonCrispi: A pair of tommyguns materialize in her hands, and she makes the turtle king an offer he can't refuse. +
dragomorph: The king roars in pain at the constant shots before pulling into its shell. The bullets ricochet off after that; the king, not leaving it at that, suddenly surges forward, spinning! And he's kinda big...
dragomorph: (All react)
HurricaneChris04: Frontal leap and roll time!
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska dives sideways with pistols. And by pistols, I mean tommyguns.
EricOverbringer: Dave does an acrobatic fucking pirouette off the floor onto a nearby bit of statuary
s.a.b.e.r: Rin will force herself to try to leap up over the spiked turtle. Not her best move, but she's agile enough it seemed proper to do at the time.
dragomorph: It's big, but you all somehow manage to find areas to squeeze to to avoid it. It leaps back to the bridge, looking peeved and bleedy.
dragomorph: (Rin)
s.a.b.e.r: She'll sprint towards the giant turtle with her right palm out - fully intent on striking at it's face. Close range fighting when she can use magic. Sure is tough. +
HurricaneChris04: Shirou: "Rin! What the hell are you doing?!"
s.a.b.e.r: Rin: Would you shut up? You're distracting me!
dragomorph: This probably isn't as effective as she'd like, considering it breathes fire from its mouth. Like it's doing NOW.
dragomorph: (Rin react)
HurricaneChris04: (Support!)
dragomorph: (Shirou support)
HurricaneChris04: "DAMMIT!" Shirou runs toward Rin and tackles her to the ground, away from the fireball's trajectory.
dragomorph: Well, the back of your shirt is probably mildly scorched, Shirou, but good save.
dragomorph: ...if not slightly on FIRE.
s.a.b.e.r: Don't worry, Rin's hands are going to flail hard against the back of his shirt. "It's on fire." It might not be the truth, but free reason to beat someone.
HurricaneChris04: "GAH LET GO!" Shirou lets go of Rin and, because he's ALREADY on the ground, skips the Stop and Drop steps and goes straight to Roll.
dragomorph: (...Dave.)
s.a.b.e.r: If he's still within beating distance... he'll get another fist or two. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Etc.
EricOverbringer: Dave leaps down from his perch on the statue sword first (currently unbroken), stabbing at the back of the giant turtle's neck!+
dragomorph: The turtle, distracted by the extreme amounts of tsun in the room, roars in pain as the sword stabs through, shaking wildly and gurgling. It seems to be in its death throes.
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska ejects an empty magazine and throws it at Tohsaka.
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "Get a room!"
dragomorph: It's shaking QUITE wildly, in fact; hope Dave's got good balance.
dragomorph: (Dave react)
EricOverbringer: Dave has exellent balance, but fuck staying up here. He leaps off, leaving the sword behind for now
dragomorph: Annnnd flumph.
dragomorph: So it was the mighty turtle king went down. Good thing it's just an expy or we might be in trouble here.
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "Awesome!"
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "So where's the insane loot?"
ZebulonCrispi: (Vriska would level up, but she already maxed out on her echeladder ages ago.)
s.a.b.e.r: Forcing herself to sit up, Rin will glance around the room, waiting for some other thing to pop up out of surprise.
dragomorph: Once you get past the bulk of the turtle king, you find, in the center of the room... a wooden replica of some sort of mushroom guy. There's a button on him, with a speaker, and a bucket hangs from one of its hands.
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "Ugh!"
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "Talk about indiscreet."
EricOverbringer: Dave looks in the bucket
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska's not putting up with this sordid display. She'll be outside.
s.a.b.e.r: Can she push the button? She has no idea how technology works. So she should.
dragomorph: The sound crackles, and the following recording comes out, sounding sort of like a drive-through window:
dragomorph: *PSSH We're sorry, but our Princess is in another castle. On vacation. For the next week. If you'd like to leave a message, do so after the beep. Otherwise, please feel free to help yourself to a consolation prize or two. BEEP*
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dragomorph: *PSSH We're sorry, but our Princess is in another castle. On vacation. For the next week.
dragomorph: If you'd like to leave a message, do so after the beep. Otherwise, please feel free to help yourself to a consolation prize or two. BEEP*
HurricaneChris04: Shirou: "...Uh..."
EricOverbringer: Dave: "Damn. No princess"
EricOverbringer: "I feel ripped off"
dragomorph: No, but apparently there are anemoi in the bucket.
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska (from outside the room): "Any decent treasure in there?"
s.a.b.e.r: Rin: Oh there's another castle? We should find it.
EricOverbringer: "Guess I'll have to make due with what we came out here for."
EricOverbringer: Dave claims the bucket
EricOverbringer: "Yes we got a sweet bucket"
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "Argh!"
EricOverbringer: "Oh and also some mystic memory gems"
EricOverbringer: "In the bucket"
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "Just... Just pass some of them over here. Without the pail."
EricOverbringer: Dave does this
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska is appreciative but does not indicate this.
ZebulonCrispi: She's too grossed out by gross human grossness.
s.a.b.e.r: Rin: Hey. What's the deal with the bucket? You're acting kind of funny about it.
ZebulonCrispi: She feels like she should wash these off.
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "What do you mean? It's... do humans just not feel any shame about this kind of thing?"
EricOverbringer: Dave: "Buckets are sweet."
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "Shut up!"
s.a.b.e.r: Rin: About beating up a bunch of turtles and mushrooms? Not really. They attacked us first.
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "I'm talking about that brazen pail display, idiot!"
EricOverbringer: Dave: "Okay this is stupid lets just get out of here before the lava overflows or something."
s.a.b.e.r: Rin: It's just a bucket. (It's buckety-in nature)
dragomorph: QUEST COMPLETE
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "I don't even care anymore! Let's abscond the hell out of here."
WHAT: Battles with Turtles and Mushrooms!
WHEN: Tuesday, November 15.
WHERE: A worryingly familiar setting.
NOTE: The ending is rated NC-17. For trolls, anyway.
dragomorph: When you emerge from the portal, you're in what seems like a fairly normal forest. Initially, anyway.
dragomorph: The further you walk in, though, the more the trees seem to change in texture and consistency; only after a while do you realize they're not trees anymore, but giant mushrooms!
EricOverbringer: Dave: "If I see a rabbit in a waistcoat out here I am flipping the fuck out"
HurricaneChris04: Shirou: "Since when do mushrooms get this big?"
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska says nothing for the moment, rolling a pile of eight-sided dice between her fingers.
dragomorph: As you walk, you eventually come across what seems to be a smaller, waist-high group of mushrooms, with even smaller mushrooms growing at their bases. There's something odd about them...
EricOverbringer: Dave peers closer at the mushrooms, trying to figure out what seems off about this.
ZebulonCrispi: As far as Vriska's concerned, this could be totally normal Earth foliage, so it's up to our human heroes to spot anything odd!
s.a.b.e.r: Rin's hardly distracted by the idle chatter - placing her focus on their surroundings. Enjoy the silence while you can.
HurricaneChris04: Shirou, like Dave, peers closer.
dragomorph: Well, the fact that one of them's apparently just opened its eyes and is snapping its jaws at you is a big indicator.
dragomorph: Apparently, those smaller shrooms are just its FEET. Oh dear.
EricOverbringer: Dave hops the fuck back in alarm
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "About time!"
EricOverbringer: Dave: "There's no way you were expecting that."
HurricaneChris04: Shirou jumps back, but...catches his foot on a root and stumbles.
HurricaneChris04: *on a rock
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "That's ridiculous! How could you go searching for radical loot and not expect to find any bloodthirsty monsters in the way?"
dragomorph: The other ones wake up as well and begin to shuffle towards you all, looking rather peeved. They're not very fast...
dragomorph: ...though the lack of legs might explain that one.
s.a.b.e.r: Rin can't help but laugh at Shirou's misery. Who cares if there's a ton of mushrooms making their way towards them? There's comedy to be had.
EricOverbringer: Dave: "Whatever, they're slow, I bet we can just kinda run by them."
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "Absolutely not!"
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "How will you know if you're ready for the inevitable stronger monsters later on if we don't defeat these ones?"
dragomorph: If it makes it slightly more worthwhile, there's a hollow behind them that looks like it has some boxes in it.
EricOverbringer: (About how big are the mushroom men?)
dragomorph: (About knee height on an adult.)
dragomorph: Either way, they don't look like they're going to leave you alone, so...
dragomorph: (Dave, Vriska, Rin, Shirou)
dragomorph: (...and since we're not even pretending at this point: (Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rr70dLy5yKg)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rr70dLy5yKg )
EricOverbringer: Dave: "Okay that's stupid. but this is also stupid, so..."
EricOverbringer: Dave gets his ridiculous looking sword out and chops at one of the mushroom men!
dragomorph: Ridiculous mushroom men don't move very well. Or defend very well. Which is why you now have two halves of one mushroom man -- but the other one's right there to try to get a chomp in.
dragomorph: (Dave React)
HurricaneChris04: Shirou just...looks at the sword for a moment. Barely registering his surroundings.
EricOverbringer: Dave plants one foot in the mushroom man's face at shoves it back as hard as he can
dragomorph: Spinny mushroom man! Wheeeeeee. It looks dizzy.
dragomorph: (Vriska)
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "All right, let's see what these things can do!"
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska rolls the FLOURITE OCTET, eight dice scattering onto the ground before her.
ZebulonCrispi: All together, she rolls a 41: THE OMNIVORE'S SOLUTION.
ZebulonCrispi: An enormous knife appears in her left hand, and an enormous fork in her right!
EricOverbringer: (Link: http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=003728)(Ridiculous sword, for reference)
ZebulonCrispi: She has no idea how to use these, but how hard could it be? Commence turning the nearest mushrooms into cream of mushroom soup. +
dragomorph: What? That's silly, you don't have the ingre -- oh wait, she's somehow managed to turn one of them into a nice mushroom bisque. That's... talent.
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska captchalogues the mushroom bisque.
ZebulonCrispi: Whatever that means.
dragomorph: The others move in with seemingly no regard for their own health, chomping at anybody in their way. Right now, the front line is Vriska and Dave, so clearly they're trying to turn the eating tables.
dragomorph: (React Dave and Vriska)
ZebulonCrispi: PUNT. +
EricOverbringer: PUNCH. +
dragomorph: Punted! It lands on its little mushroom butt. The other one gets its face nicely staved in for its effort.
dragomorph: Only a couple left now.
dragomorph: (Rin)
s.a.b.e.r: With her right arm lifted, she'll cover her nose and mouth with it. The other is getting GANDR'D. Don't know how effective a sick mushroom guy would be, but eh..+
dragomorph: Mushroom men apparently don't have a lot of status immunity. It because sneezing and sneezing. This has the slight side effect of it shaking loose some spores, though.
dragomorph: The last one looks around, FINALLY begins to question the logic of this, and begins very slowly waddling in the other direction.
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "Victory!"
HurricaneChris04: Shirou lowers his bow. Apparently he wasn't needed.
dragomorph: For now, anyway. That's okay, it was kind of a gimme battle anyway.
EricOverbringer: Dave: "Don't spend that EXP all in one place. Let's see what's in the boxes"
dragomorph: Anyway, the hollow reveals some boxes. There's indications they SHOULD open from the top, but there doesn't seem to be any way to pry the lid open that you can see from here.
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska is wrestling with one of them. "Come on!"
dragomorph: They seem to be relatively lightweight, at least. Made of iron, though. Maybe there's a catch somewhere...
EricOverbringer: Dave kicks one of them over to get a look at them from every side
HurricaneChris04: Shirou is rotating one around, looking at it.
dragomorph: The bottom looks like it has some sort of small indent.
EricOverbringer: *poke*
dragomorph: It gives a little, but seems to need a little more force.
EricOverbringer: *punch*
dragomorph: The top of the box flips around, ejecting the contents. Of course, since it's tipped on its side, that means it falls onto the ground. It'
dragomorph: looks like a large, rather tasty looking mushroom.
HurricaneChris04: Shirou does the same for the box he's holding.
EricOverbringer: Dave: "Cool. I guess you hit them on the bottom to open them"
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska gives a box a swift kick in the indentation!
dragomorph: Shirou seems to have lucked out; there's a nice cache of gold coins in this one.
s.a.b.e.r: Rin is a little less gentle with the one near her - she beats on it without mercy.
ZebulonCrispi: The OMNIVORE'S SOLUTION is gone now, by the way.
dragomorph: Vriska's shoots out a flower that skitters along the ground a good distance away! Rin's, meanwhile, has a star. This all seems oddly abstract...
EricOverbringer: Dave does not eat his mushroom. Because that would be fucking stupid.
HurricaneChris04: Shirou: "Whoa! I wonder how much these are worth..."
EricOverbringer: Eating a random mushroom you found in a box? You'll get high or something.
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska's holding onto the flower, at least. It's OBVIOUSLY treasure.
ZebulonCrispi: So very treasure.
EricOverbringer: *Captchalogue MushrooM8
EricOverbringer: *
s.a.b.e.r: Rin: So I got a gold star for my performance? Not bad, not bad..
dragomorph: Sadly, there is a distinct lack of small, green jewels in any of them. But what do you expect from such a simple battle?
HurricaneChris04: That gets an aside glance from Shirou.
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "Clearly we need to find some more deadly monsters to slay."
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "Let's go!"
s.a.b.e.r: Rin: What's with that look?
HurricaneChris04: Shirou: "...What look?"
EricOverbringer: Dave would be giving Vriska a "You are crazy" but he doesn't give enough of a shit
EricOverbringer: Onwards!
dragomorph: The forest eventually opens up to a large plain; a bit of a distance away, a rather large castle looms. If you squint, you can see small somethings fluttering around it.
ZebulonCrispi: He would be right if he did, though.
HurricaneChris04: Shirou: "What's a castle doing out here in the middle of the wilderness?
EricOverbringer: Dave: "Looking for Anemoi?"
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "Waiting to be pillaged, is what!"
s.a.b.e.r: Rin nods eagerly at Vriska's statement. She wants the good stuff, alright?
dragomorph: Their approach doesn't go unnoticed; upon closer inspection, the flying things appear to be turtles of some sort. One of them sounds the alarm, and the gate to the castle opens.
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska turns to Shirou.
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "You didn't get a chance to do anything interesting last fight, right? You lead."
HurricaneChris04: Shirou: "Flying tur--wait, what?"
dragomorph: A hoarde of ground-based turtle soldiers emerge, wielding spears and swords. The flying ones also swoop in, ready to defend. Looks like this is going to be a bit more of a serious fight.
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "Take point! Onwards, towards glory or whatever!"
dragomorph: Congratulations! You've just been nominated to lead against... let's see, looks to be about six ground troops and four flying! ...yay.
s.a.b.e.r: Rin: Yeah, lead the charge Shirou!
dragomorph: (
HurricaneChris04: There is quite the exasperated look on Shirou's face as he draws his bow. He sets an arrow into it, takes aim at one of the flying turtles, and shoots.+
dragomorph: The turtle in question had the misfortune of being in the process of swooping down to attack; the arrow connects with its head, which is not protected by that shell, and it goes down immediately.
dragomorph: You might want to watch out for that falling shell, though. Meanwhile, the ground troops see Shirou as a serious issue for their air force and begin descending on him. One of them makes it and swings its sword in his direction.
dragomorph: The shell looks like it's gonna fall on Dave if he's not careful.
dragomorph: (Dave, Shirou react)
HurricaneChris04: Shirou leaps sideways and hits the ground rolling.
EricOverbringer: ((Link: http://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/beatdown-strider-style-2)music link for awesome) Dave hops backwards as he turns on the mini-AC on his sword, surrounding the blade in a swirling cloud of ice and mist. Then he dashes forwards again and swings it at the closes of the turtle soldiers, sending out a shockwave of ice crystals at the turtles behind it!+
EricOverbringer: Incomprehensibly, using the freezing powers of the sword also causes half of the blade to vanish a few seconds later, leaving him with a broken snow-cone sword
dragomorph: The turtle gets sliced through the weak underbelly and goes down. The turtles behind duck into their shells, although the one closest to the fallen soldier can't duck in time and is frozen in place.
dragomorph: The one behind those two charges Dave just as one of the flying turtles swoops down towards him. A second one folds into its shell and, spinning, charges straight towards Vriska and Rin!
EricOverbringer: Dave stares at his sword in dismay, "What the hell man?"
dragomorph: (Dave, Vriska, Rin react)
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska does a 90s action roll out of the way!
EricOverbringer: Dave dives over it and lands in a heap on the other side!
s.a.b.e.r: It's just a stupid turtle.... but Rin isn't stupid enough to try to stay in the way. She'll leap off to the side in a less flashier way than the homestuck kiddos.
dragomorph: There is a bit of a side effect to this charge effect as the shell shoots off into the distance. It'll take a bit for him to return. Meanwhile, the flying turtle just barely avoids colliding into the ground troop, and they both turn towards Dave.
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dragomorph: There is a bit of a side effect to this charge effect as the shell shoots off into the distance. It'll take a bit for him to return
dragomorph: Meanwhile, the flying turtle just barely avoids colliding into the ground troop, and they both turn towards Dave.
dragomorph: (Vriska)
ZebulonCrispi: Another 8d8! This time, the roll is an even 30 - STRETCHBEAST RUMPUS.
ZebulonCrispi: A bunch of what appear to be large, furious weasels appear and start biting the hell out of enemies on the ground. +
dragomorph: Ouch! Owie! Ow! Feet! Feeeeeet! The ground troops start panicking a bit as they try to get out of the way of the little bitey bastards. They're too occupied right now to strike back!
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "...so I guess I'm unarmed now? This is sort of stupid."
dragomorph: But one of the flying turtles ain't too happy with you, and it throws its spear down at Vriska, charging after it to reclaim it wherever it may land.
dragomorph: (Vriska react)
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska, actually trying to be badass instead of just wacky for once, dodges slightly out of the way, and tries to grab the spear out of the air as it passes by. &
dragomorph: The spear lands point first into the ground. Turtle's close behind... time for that awesome!
dragomorph: Or, rather, it would land, if Vriska allowed it...
ZebulonCrispi: The spear is then picked from the ground, and flung back into the face of the turtle who threw it in the first place! +
ZebulonCrispi: (whoops sorry)
dragomorph: S'cool.
dragomorph: (eh heh.)
dragomorph: Shish kabob turtle.
dragomorph: The frozen turtle finally works its way loose from the ice, and you can see the one that shot away trotting back towards the group. The rest of the ground troops continue to converge.
dragomorph: (Rin)
s.a.b.e.r: The frozen turtle seems to be the easiest target for Rin, so she'll waste little time in rushing towards it to deliver some good 'ol fashioned nasuverse kung fu+
dragomorph: Aw man, it was just about finished too. And now it's just a shell shooting waaaaaaaay off in the distance. He's probably not rejoining anytime soon.
dragomorph: But that means the other ground troops are all swinging their weapons at Rin. Welp.
dragomorph: (Rin react)
EricOverbringer: (Support!)
dragomorph: (Dave support!)
EricOverbringer: Dave dashes past them all with his busted-ass sword, samurai style. Seconds later, every weapon targetting Rin that he succeeded on will shatter!+
EricOverbringer: succeeded on hitting right*
dragomorph: The busted ass sword isn't probably as effective as he'd like. But he does deflect two, while the third turtle's spear breaks apart like ice to its startlement. He knew he should've gone sword...
s.a.b.e.r: Rin: Ugh.. I had everything under control, you know. Now I'm stuck in your debt.
dragomorph: (Current battle status: x2 Flying, x2 Turtle Troops, x1 Turtle w/ broken weapon, x1 Turtle returning after next action)
dragomorph: (Shirou)
EricOverbringer: Dave: "It's all part of my sinister plan"
EricOverbringer: "Also you're welcome"
HurricaneChris04: Shirou draws his bow and sets an arrow again, and once more he targets one of the flying turtles. He focuses on his target and lets the arrow fly.+
dragomorph: This turtle has the sense to turn its shell towards the arrow, causing it to shatter against the carapace. It swoops down to counterattack.
dragomorph: (Shirou react)
HurricaneChris04: Shirou ducks down, then leaps upwards, throwing a punch at its underbelly once in range!
dragomorph: Well that took the wind out of its sails. It falls over and lands on its back. And can't get back up! Who wants 1-ups?
dragomorph: (Dave)
EricOverbringer: Somehow, using the broken sword feels just as natural as using the complete sword. Dave engages the two remaining koo-, er, turtle troops in a furious sword fight with a speedy series of feints and jabs.+
dragomorph: It is an awesome swordfight despite the shitty broken sword. One of the turtles can't keep up the speed and eventually gets too injured to continue; the other seems to keep up the pace pretty nicely. En garde!
dragomorph: The last flying turtle dives towards Dave as he fights, hoping to catch him distracted.
dragomorph: The one that had shot off has finally caught up and is charging towards Shirou!
dragomorph: (Shirou, Dave react)
EricOverbringer: A second dave, wearing different clothing, appears in a flash of light and shoulder checks the turtle out of the way at the last second, before vanishing!
EricOverbringer: Dave never even noticed
dragomorph: Well, that one literally doesn't know what the hell hit it, landing on the ground and hitting its head. It's out like a light.
HurricaneChris04: "Trace, on." Shirou quickly runs through the steps of reinforcement, and because he's in a tense situation, actually succeeds for a change.
HurricaneChris04: He then lets fly with the reinforced arrow at the charging turtle.
dragomorph: It turns its shell towards the arrow and it bou -- wait, actually it just punched through and pieced the turtle but good. Welp.
dragomorph: The turtle with the broken weapon has already retreated into the castle, starting the process of pulling up the drawbridge.
dragomorph: (Vriska)
ZebulonCrispi: (There's a flipped turtle, right?)
dragomorph: (Yep)
ZebulonCrispi: Oh, no you don't Vriska jumps on that flipped turtle and RIDES IT LIKE THE MECHANICAL BULL or possible the skateboard towards the drawbridge, totally just bodyslamming into anyone that gets in her way.
dragomorph: 100 points! wait what
dragomorph: There's still a turtle dueling with Dave. It's a flurry of blades man.
dragomorph: (Rin)
s.a.b.e.r: Well, if Dave is going to interrupt *her* fight, the only thing she can do in return is try to return the "favor". Don't mind her doing the only thing she really still knows how to do (another round of Gandr), it's just that leet fightan with the swords and yadda yadda. +
dragomorph: Fightfightfightfight -- ACHOO! ACHOO! The turtle has to time out for a bit due to a nasty bit of hay fever all of a sudden.
dragomorph: (Dave react)
EricOverbringer: Dave takes advantage of the distracted turtle to finish it off!
dragomorph: Tonight we dine on turtle soup.
dragomorph: Seems like you guys have successfully beaten down the defenders. Time to storm the castle!
ZebulonCrispi: Vrika: "Time to storm the castle!"
EricOverbringer: Dave turns off the AC, and a few seconds after that the sword fixes itself. What the hell.
dragomorph: The castle's decor is... special. For one, there are several elevated platforms and bridges over what appears to be lava (although curiously, you don't seem to be experiencing much of a convection effect. Odd.)
HurricaneChris04: Shirou: "...What the heck is with this castle?"
EricOverbringer: Dave: "It's an endboss castle, obviously"
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "This looks about right, yeah."
EricOverbringer: Dave: "The Lava is a little odd, though."
s.a.b.e.r: Rin is just going to look at Shirou expecting him to explain the foreign term 'endboss castle'.
dragomorph: One door seems to be guarded by long bars engulfed in flames. There are a couple of gargoyles framing it. If you squint, one of them looks a little off.
HurricaneChris04: Unfortunately for Rin, no explanation is forthcoming.
EricOverbringer: Dave squints
ZebulonCrispi: While Dave is squinting at the statue, Vriska pushes it over.
EricOverbringer: Doesn't take off his sunglasses though. Let's not get crazy
dragomorph: It shifts, and falls off. There's a switch! ...way up there. Ho boy. It's going to take someone really tall to get that one.
HurricaneChris04: That gives Shirou an idea. He sets an arrow, draws his bow, and fires the arrow at the switch.
dragomorph: *kaclick* The fire around the bars shuts off, and they slowly retract upward.
s.a.b.e.r: Rin: Wow, that's pretty good. (A rare compliment, Shirou. ENJOY IT)
dragomorph: Deeper into the castle you go. Eventually, there's another door sealed shut. In the corners of the room are what appears to be torches high up, but they aren't lit like all the others are.
dragomorph: (Could they make these any more obvious? Gawd.)
EricOverbringer: Dave: "Anyone else here feel like they should be holding a controller?"
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "Nope!"
HurricaneChris04: Shirou: "Not...really?"
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska grabs a random lit torch and flings it at one of the unlit torches.
EricOverbringer: Dave: "Alright"
s.a.b.e.r: Rin will just be left stumped trying to figure out what a controller is.
dragomorph: The flame just barely touches the top of the unlit sconce, but it's enough to set it off. Now do it for the other three.
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "There has to be a better way to do this."
EricOverbringer: Dave: "I got nothing. If I had a fire sword, maybe, but..."
EricOverbringer: Dave: "Can we light those arrows on fire?"
EricOverbringer: *at Shirou*
HurricaneChris04: Shirou: "Uh. Technically yes, but..."
HurricaneChris04: He doesn't look too thrilled with the idea.
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "Do it!"
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "It is clearly the superior option."
s.a.b.e.r: Rin: Might as well take the risk and do it. That's three against one.
EricOverbringer: Dave conveniently holds the torch
EricOverbringer: Dave: "Not like arrows are impossible to replace"
HurricaneChris04: Well, as long as they aren't lighting the arrow while it's in the bow. Shirou takes aim and fires at an unlit torch through the lit torch.
dragomorph: *Fwoom!*
dragomorph: Looks like that did the trick. Two more oughta do it.
HurricaneChris04: And Shirou does it twice more.
dragomorph: That seems to have done it. The door slowly slides open.
dragomorph: And oh crap duck there's a big fireball coming your way
HurricaneChris04: Shirou hits the dirt!
ZebulonCrispi: YOUTH ROLL
EricOverbringer: NORMAL ROLL
s.a.b.e.r: Right, the whole diving face first into things.
dragomorph: Fireball averted. But upon going through the door, you can see the source of it pretty immediately -- the biggest goddamn turtle yet, with lots of spikes, standing on a bridge guarding what looks to be one final room behind him.
dragomorph: And he looks pissed.
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "HERE we go!"
EricOverbringer: Dave: "Oh hell no."
HurricaneChris04: Shirou: "Okay, this seems REALLY familiar, and I'm not liking it!"
s.a.b.e.r: Rin: It's just a turtle.
dragomorph: A turtle breathing fire at you, yes.
dragomorph: Like, right now.
dragomorph: (Dave, Vriska, Rin, Shirou)
dragomorph: (All react)
HurricaneChris04: Hitting the dirt! Again!
EricOverbringer: Dave swings his sword again, simultaneously creating a shield of ice and breaking it again!
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska ducks out of the way but forwards! Enough of this pansy staying back crap.
s.a.b.e.r: Upon seeing Vriska advance, Rin will mimic her in the same fashion. Let the boys hide behind them. That's fine with her.
dragomorph: Girls takin' charge! The fireball misses, though you might find a few hairs scorched.
dragomorph: (Dave)
EricOverbringer: Dave ducks around the side of his ice shield and advances, sending periodic ice blasts, his sword breaking and unbreaking at seemingly random intervals
dragomorph: The huge turtle gets hit by some of the blasts, bats away some of the others, and melts a few with his fireballs. It looks mildly wounded, but hardly slowed. A fireball's going right for that barrier, Dave.
dragomorph: (Dave react)
EricOverbringer: Dave isn't behind the barrier anymore, so fuck it
dragomorph: It offended its sensibilities, all right? B|
dragomorph: (Vriska)
EricOverbringer: Alright
ZebulonCrispi: One last roll of the Fluorite Octet!
ZebulonCrispi: The roll is a 23 - LV23 SLEUTH DIPLOMACY.
ZebulonCrispi: A pair of tommyguns materialize in her hands, and she makes the turtle king an offer he can't refuse. +
dragomorph: The king roars in pain at the constant shots before pulling into its shell. The bullets ricochet off after that; the king, not leaving it at that, suddenly surges forward, spinning! And he's kinda big...
dragomorph: (All react)
HurricaneChris04: Frontal leap and roll time!
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska dives sideways with pistols. And by pistols, I mean tommyguns.
EricOverbringer: Dave does an acrobatic fucking pirouette off the floor onto a nearby bit of statuary
s.a.b.e.r: Rin will force herself to try to leap up over the spiked turtle. Not her best move, but she's agile enough it seemed proper to do at the time.
dragomorph: It's big, but you all somehow manage to find areas to squeeze to to avoid it. It leaps back to the bridge, looking peeved and bleedy.
dragomorph: (Rin)
s.a.b.e.r: She'll sprint towards the giant turtle with her right palm out - fully intent on striking at it's face. Close range fighting when she can use magic. Sure is tough. +
HurricaneChris04: Shirou: "Rin! What the hell are you doing?!"
s.a.b.e.r: Rin: Would you shut up? You're distracting me!
dragomorph: This probably isn't as effective as she'd like, considering it breathes fire from its mouth. Like it's doing NOW.
dragomorph: (Rin react)
HurricaneChris04: (Support!)
dragomorph: (Shirou support)
HurricaneChris04: "DAMMIT!" Shirou runs toward Rin and tackles her to the ground, away from the fireball's trajectory.
dragomorph: Well, the back of your shirt is probably mildly scorched, Shirou, but good save.
dragomorph: ...if not slightly on FIRE.
s.a.b.e.r: Don't worry, Rin's hands are going to flail hard against the back of his shirt. "It's on fire." It might not be the truth, but free reason to beat someone.
HurricaneChris04: "GAH LET GO!" Shirou lets go of Rin and, because he's ALREADY on the ground, skips the Stop and Drop steps and goes straight to Roll.
dragomorph: (...Dave.)
s.a.b.e.r: If he's still within beating distance... he'll get another fist or two. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Etc.
EricOverbringer: Dave leaps down from his perch on the statue sword first (currently unbroken), stabbing at the back of the giant turtle's neck!+
dragomorph: The turtle, distracted by the extreme amounts of tsun in the room, roars in pain as the sword stabs through, shaking wildly and gurgling. It seems to be in its death throes.
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska ejects an empty magazine and throws it at Tohsaka.
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "Get a room!"
dragomorph: It's shaking QUITE wildly, in fact; hope Dave's got good balance.
dragomorph: (Dave react)
EricOverbringer: Dave has exellent balance, but fuck staying up here. He leaps off, leaving the sword behind for now
dragomorph: Annnnd flumph.
dragomorph: So it was the mighty turtle king went down. Good thing it's just an expy or we might be in trouble here.
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "Awesome!"
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "So where's the insane loot?"
ZebulonCrispi: (Vriska would level up, but she already maxed out on her echeladder ages ago.)
s.a.b.e.r: Forcing herself to sit up, Rin will glance around the room, waiting for some other thing to pop up out of surprise.
dragomorph: Once you get past the bulk of the turtle king, you find, in the center of the room... a wooden replica of some sort of mushroom guy. There's a button on him, with a speaker, and a bucket hangs from one of its hands.
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "Ugh!"
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "Talk about indiscreet."
EricOverbringer: Dave looks in the bucket
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska's not putting up with this sordid display. She'll be outside.
s.a.b.e.r: Can she push the button? She has no idea how technology works. So she should.
dragomorph: The sound crackles, and the following recording comes out, sounding sort of like a drive-through window:
dragomorph: *PSSH We're sorry, but our Princess is in another castle. On vacation. For the next week. If you'd like to leave a message, do so after the beep. Otherwise, please feel free to help yourself to a consolation prize or two. BEEP*
*** Your previous message has not been sent. Reason: Maximum length (232) exceeded. You can recall the last message typed with Ctrl-Up or Up, depending on settings.
dragomorph: *PSSH We're sorry, but our Princess is in another castle. On vacation. For the next week.
dragomorph: If you'd like to leave a message, do so after the beep. Otherwise, please feel free to help yourself to a consolation prize or two. BEEP*
HurricaneChris04: Shirou: "...Uh..."
EricOverbringer: Dave: "Damn. No princess"
EricOverbringer: "I feel ripped off"
dragomorph: No, but apparently there are anemoi in the bucket.
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska (from outside the room): "Any decent treasure in there?"
s.a.b.e.r: Rin: Oh there's another castle? We should find it.
EricOverbringer: "Guess I'll have to make due with what we came out here for."
EricOverbringer: Dave claims the bucket
EricOverbringer: "Yes we got a sweet bucket"
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "Argh!"
EricOverbringer: "Oh and also some mystic memory gems"
EricOverbringer: "In the bucket"
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "Just... Just pass some of them over here. Without the pail."
EricOverbringer: Dave does this
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska is appreciative but does not indicate this.
ZebulonCrispi: She's too grossed out by gross human grossness.
s.a.b.e.r: Rin: Hey. What's the deal with the bucket? You're acting kind of funny about it.
ZebulonCrispi: She feels like she should wash these off.
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "What do you mean? It's... do humans just not feel any shame about this kind of thing?"
EricOverbringer: Dave: "Buckets are sweet."
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "Shut up!"
s.a.b.e.r: Rin: About beating up a bunch of turtles and mushrooms? Not really. They attacked us first.
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "I'm talking about that brazen pail display, idiot!"
EricOverbringer: Dave: "Okay this is stupid lets just get out of here before the lava overflows or something."
s.a.b.e.r: Rin: It's just a bucket. (It's buckety-in nature)
dragomorph: QUEST COMPLETE
ZebulonCrispi: Vriska: "I don't even care anymore! Let's abscond the hell out of here."