second trauma [video]

[unpleasantries]

[This time Satori is a little less careful with the camera, because she's starting to get used to the stares and the questions on the street about the eye on her chest, so it's in full view.

The eye, although anyone who appears in the camera will likely be out of its range, stares unblinkingly into it.

No, really. No matter how long you watch it, it doesn't blink.

Ever.]

I don't suppose any of you know anything about a Palace of the Earth Spirits?

[She leaves it at that and doesn't mention why she's asking, though.]

Comments

[hatefriendleader]

[The eye's probably just an accessory, right? Looks stupid and tacky, she's trying way too hard to be creepy. Clearly.]

No, but I know what a palace is and what Earth is and what a spirit is, so the puzzle crumbles quickly before my gargantuan troll intellect. There are spirits that have something to do with this shitty planet and they live in a palace, done.

I should start charging you idiots for my services figuring out the incredibly mundane shit you remember and get confused about.

[unpleasantries]

[Satori blinks, then immediately breaks into a smirk.]

You aren't very smart, are you? "Earth" happens to have two meanings, one of which is the planet and one of which is soil. Unlike you, I don't mindlessly jump to conclusions about this sort of thing, which is why I was asking in the first place.

And for the record, even if you did start charging for your "services" I doubt very many people would be willing to pay, especially if it's always so terrible.

[hatefriendleader]

Okay, so instead of being related to a planet that is basically a huge rock of garbage they are literally the spirits of dirt. Correction issued! This is such a vast improvement, I can see why you'd be a stickler about it.

[unpleasantries]

Do you always lash out at people like this? If you're not going to be helpful you can just stop talking to me, you know. You're reminding me of a certain sicko.

[Okay he wasn't really a sicko, but he was equally unhelpful.]

[hatefriendleader]

You being too much of snarky hag to actually apply any critical thinking to whether or not you have an excuse to snark has nothing to do with the fact that I'm lashing out in an insanely helpful way.

[unpleasantries]

If this is your idea of helpful I'd hate to see what your idea of unhelpful is.

[hatefriendleader]

I can't express my superior alien techniques for deliberately obstructing people without melting your fragile, primitive thinkpan.

[unpleasantries]

[Her third eye catches a particularly interesting thought to Satori's left and moves to follow it.]

Try me.

[hatefriendleader]

Oh, sure, put me on the spot.


...


Does that piece of shit have a motor? God, that's tacky.

[unpleasantries]

A motor?

...Oh, you're talking about my eye. No, it's real.

[hatefriendleader]

Oh, I didn't realize, most of your species doesn't have anything like that that I've seen. I just thought it was a goofy prop, it doesn't actually look that bad. By which I mean it's hideous by virtue of its association with you but whatever.

[unpleasantries]

There you go making assumptions again. Who's to say I'm the same species as everyone else here? Nobody I've talked to has seen anyone with a third eye, let alone one like this. Some of them are actually pretty repulsed, even if they don't say it.

On the other hand, I can't be sure I'm not human, but right now, based on everyone's reactions, my suspicions are leaning toward the former.

[hatefriendleader]

Yeah, well you look exactly like them aside from the eye thing, which I thought was some lame edgey bullshit you picked up from Troll Hot Topic, or whatever absurd name the human equivalent has. Excuse the fuck out of me for not figuring you're some kind of goblin that is mostly identical to the dominant species on the planet for no reason.

[unpleasantries]

What is a Troll Hot Topic?

[whoops gensokyo doesn't have any chain stores...]

[hatefriendleader]

It's where assholes buy things that advertise to the world how terrible they are while making them feel accomplished for pissing off their lusuus.

[This explanation should be adequate right???]

[unpleasantries]

That doesn't explain anything unless you tell me what a lusus is.

[hatefriendleader]

Oh goddammit, it's an animal that protects and raises you and lives in your hive and is your family, assuming you're a normal species that isn't nurtured by its own kind for some freaky reason.

[unpleasantries]

So it's like a reverse pet.

Does that make you a pet? You're awfully uncute for one.

1/2

[hatefriendleader]

Bullshit, I'm the most adorab...loodthirsty...

2/2

[hatefriendleader]

Well, that was weird. Anyway fuck you for whatever weird alien thing you were just implying.

[unpleasantries]

I was implying you're owned by an animal. See, around here - let's assume I'm a human for this exercise, so you don't get to confused - around here, we humans take care of animals and adopt them into our families.

So I'm really not seeing the difference between "lusus" and "owner." Did your lusus make you wear a collar or make you go outside to use the bathroom?

[hatefriendleader]

Okay, no, the troll is the one that takes care of hygiene because a lusus is a fucking generally-non-sentient creature, and the behavior policing is pretty much symbiotically mutual. Like, keeping your lusus from getting into the trash is on you, keeping you from slacking off on your schoolfeeding is your lusus's job. Obviously.

[unpleasantries]

Oh, so that explains why your behavior is so terrible. You didn't have proper parents. I'd pity you if you were remotely pitiable.

[hatefriendleader]

First of all, I can't fathom a reality in which I could even conceive of being any less interested in your pity. Secondly, your strange earth parent lusuus aren't even a thing my species has a concept of, the absence of them obviously has nothing to do with my terrible personality.

[unpleasantries]

As long as you realize it's terrible, I guess it doesn't matter too much.