The Dave Signal!

[has_a_blog]

This is what I get for daring to mention I was bored, isn't it?

Hey Justice League, there's a bunch of giant monsters rampaging around, furiously humping buildings into rubble. This is supposed to be your thing, isn't it? Get out there and save some fleeing citizens.

Comments

[wontdieifkilled]

[Shirou looks roughed up already. Seems he was aware, but...]

"Humping?"

[has_a_blog]

[There's a huge crash in the background.]

I really really wish I could say I was fucking with you.

[wontdieifkilled]

...I almost don't want to know. Where are you?

[has_a_blog]

Down on Barington and Sackville.

I'd hurry.

And bring some big firepower.

[wontdieifkilled]

...All right. All right, I can do that. I'm coming.

[has_a_blog]

[Over and out.

Arriving on the scene reveals what can only be described as the giant lovechild of Cthulhu and a koala, doing, well, more or less what Dave described it doing.]

[wontdieifkilled]

[Shirou is left gaping.]

...What in the world...

[has_a_blog]

Pretty much.

[wontdieifkilled]

[...Oh. That's right, he had a job to do.]

Trace, on.

[Shirou focused inwards, into the hill where all of his swords were. A dozen legendary swords appeared and flew at the monster.]

[has_a_blog]

[Dave pulled out a pair of floating record turntables, did something with them, and suddenly the number of swords doubled. The observant might notice, though, that they are disappearing after they hit the monster.

Koalathulhu roared in pain, but didn't seem seriously hurt. Just angry.]

[wontdieifkilled]

[Okay, one of the swords in Shirou's mental world has to have some additional properties that will arise when properly wielded, rather than fired like a missile. He fairly quickly comes across one, since it had been inside the Gate of Babylon, and projects it. Letting the sword's experience flow into him, he takes an unfamiliar fighting stance, then unleashes an almighty swing at the monster. The sword never touches it, but the blast of light that erupts from the blade does.]

[has_a_blog]

[Koalathulhu turns to charge the two boys and do something probably unspeakable to them, only to get nailed by the blast of light and knocked over. Dave followed up the attack with a jumping slash that encased a flailing arm in ice.]

[wontdieifkilled]

[Hey, that wasn't a bad idea. Shirou repeats Dave's maneuver, sword and all -- though his lacks as much power.]

[trustycrowbar]

Already on it!

[This said right before Gordon ducks a predatory dive, as what looks like a diseased dragonfly from hell streaks past him on a rooftop. He twists around and fires on the retreating twenty-foot arthropod with his pistol. That only seems to piss it off, however.]

Jeezus, I'm going to need a submachine gun just to take this thing down! Has anyone actually SEEN these things appear yet? Anyone know where they come from?

[has_a_blog]

There's all kinds of weird stuff out in the wastelands. It's probably just something from out there.

[trustycrowbar]

[The video straightens as he stands up. The bug circles overhead and he glances down at the camera.] So many at once? Then something's funneling them here somehow. Could be... oh SHIT, hold on--

[There's an angry screech and a violent jostling of the camera and suddenly the roof he'd been standing on is not there anymore. The phone is quickly attached to his hip and can see the man clinging to the fourty-foot insect's legs. He draws up his pistol again and fires, this time at the powerful muscles behind one of the wings. The creature shrieks and goes into a tailspin, and all hell breaks loose in a crash-landing that leaves the camera staring up at the sky and one spasmodically-twitching wingtip.]

[There's a long silence, and then finally:]

...ugh, GOD that sucked...

[has_a_blog]

[Dave continues talking as if nothing happened.]

Well there is that crazy witch we met out in the swamp.

[trustycrowbar]

Nngh...

[The phone leaves the ground and Gordon is again front and center, this time splattered with greenish insect goo and trying to ignore this fact as hard as he can.]

You know, I wanted to talk to you about that. Misery, was her name? What was Joachim talking about when he mentioned people getting eaten? [Pause.] Wait, is the building-humper still there?

[has_a_blog]

Shirou's dealing with it.

I don't THINK she ate anyone while I was around...

[trustycrowbar]

[He shifts in his half-sprawl, the background shifting to include one sickly-twitching bug leg with segments the length of golf clubs.]

So... unconfirmed. Right. He also mentioned creating some kind of toaster-golem out of one of his own minions. You know, that sounded less insane in my head. You think that transformation might have something to do with this?

[has_a_blog]

I thought it looked more like a lunch box. It didn't really look like these, though. That looked like something out of a children's TV show, this looks like something out of a geiger painting.

[trustycrowbar]

[He casts a glance back over his soulder, ostensibly to the pestilent-looking bug he just beat up.]

Yeah, that's a pretty good way of putting it. It's probably not her then, but I can't believe this is all a coincidence.

[He takes off his glasses to look at the splatter, and considers...] I'll be right back. Gonna go collect a sample.

[And for the next few seconds, the camera looks away but he can hear some screeching and angry grumbling. It's probably better not to ask.]

[has_a_blog]

[After a few seconds, Dave mutes his phone. Gross.]

[gogoghostpowers]

Yeah, thanks for the tip, already worki--

...Humping? I...can't tell if you're serious or just messing around.

[has_a_blog]

It just violated a Sundollar in the most graphic sense. That rubble will be going to therapy for years.

[gogoghostpowers]

[Danny tries to formulate a response. It takes him a little while, and his mouth hangs open as he tries.]

...Really?

[yeah that's the best he could do.]

[has_a_blog]

Oh fuck I'm never going to get that mental image out of my head. It will haunt me on lonely nights.

[gogoghostpowers]

Yeah, if you manage to have any more lonely nights after this.

[has_a_blog]

Shut up, don't jinx it.

[gogoghostpowers]

I'm not going to--not when I'm working on taking down as many of these guys as I can!

[theheirofbreath]

Tell me about it! I know I was bored but this is ridiculous....

[Perhaps your video feed is wonky. Maybe your contrast is off or something? Because John appears to be green right now.]

Does anyone know what the heck is going on?

[has_a_blog]

Pretty sure it's evil space radiation.

[theheirofbreath]

That sounds like the plot to every old sci-fi movie ever...

Although that would explain all the monsters....

[And possibly his new found 'skin condition.']