Michael "Booster" Jon Carter/Booster Gold (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
canthandleacape) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
anemoi2012-03-21 08:01 pm
canthandleacape) wrote in anemoi2012-03-21 08:01 pm
Entry tags:
Gold Exchange 9 - [text]
If someone asked Booster yesterday what the worst thing he'd remembered was, he--well, he would've laughed the question off and said that he'd never remembered anything particularly bad, but it would've been a lie. The truth is, he would've had a hard time deciding: it might've been the look on his mother's face when she disowned him or maybe when he learned that she'd died before he ever had a chance to make amends or perhaps he would pick the memory of holding his own corpse in his hands, that was a pretty distressing one. But it all pales in comparison to what he just remembered.
His twin sister, the only family he really had left, is dead. Because of him.
It's a shock at first. He tries to deny that it's true, searches his other memories for any proof that she's still alive. He comes up with the opposite. One of the first things he ever remembered in Sirocco was receiving the Supernova role and costume from Rip Hunter. He didn't think much of it at the time, but now he realizes something significant about it. He accepted Rip's terms without hesitation and took it to heart enough to maintain them even in Sirocco: keep Supernova's true identity a secret from everyone. "Everyone" would include Michelle, but she could always tell when something was up with him, like the gambling, or Dad. He could never keep anything secret from her for long. Her or Ted.
Ted's dead, too.
Booster doesn't remember that, he can't really say he knows it for sure, but in a way, he's known ever since Jaime showed him the Scarab stuck to his spine. He's been trying to justify it away, to come up with reasons why Jaime still has the Scarab, why he would be looking for it instead of Ted, why Ted wouldn't come up in the conversation at all, but now any sort of justification feels pointless. He couldn't even protect his own sister, what makes him think he could've protected Ted?
What makes him think he could protect anybody? At home or here? The moon, the Oni, the dragon.... He certainly hasn't been doing a very impressive job as the League's leader so far. It's mostly dumb luck that the only casualties there've been were from an alternate timeline, but that's still too many. How many more people have to die before he realizes that he isn't really cut out to be a hero?
None, he decides. He's done with it. Screw leading the Justice League, screw being Supernova, and screw whatever it was that Rip wanted him to be Supernova for. He would've screwed it all up in the end, anyway, there's no need to actually give himself that chance. Hell, maybe he's already screwed it up, there's no way to tell with the amnesia.
If he has, he doesn't really want to remember it. And he definitely doesn't want to wait around to remember how Ted died or if any of his other friends have died, too. The decision is quickly and easily made. He sends out one mass text before he throws his phone off the roof of the Suites and leaves:
I quit.
((Aaaand Booster's out! He won't be responding to anything on this post, on account of his phone being a shattered mess of electronics on the sidewalk by the Suites now, so feel free to threadjack around in here and ICly organize Operation Drag Booster Back.I will have a log up for said Operation momentarily. EDIT: Log's up! /o/))
His twin sister, the only family he really had left, is dead. Because of him.
It's a shock at first. He tries to deny that it's true, searches his other memories for any proof that she's still alive. He comes up with the opposite. One of the first things he ever remembered in Sirocco was receiving the Supernova role and costume from Rip Hunter. He didn't think much of it at the time, but now he realizes something significant about it. He accepted Rip's terms without hesitation and took it to heart enough to maintain them even in Sirocco: keep Supernova's true identity a secret from everyone. "Everyone" would include Michelle, but she could always tell when something was up with him, like the gambling, or Dad. He could never keep anything secret from her for long. Her or Ted.
Ted's dead, too.
Booster doesn't remember that, he can't really say he knows it for sure, but in a way, he's known ever since Jaime showed him the Scarab stuck to his spine. He's been trying to justify it away, to come up with reasons why Jaime still has the Scarab, why he would be looking for it instead of Ted, why Ted wouldn't come up in the conversation at all, but now any sort of justification feels pointless. He couldn't even protect his own sister, what makes him think he could've protected Ted?
What makes him think he could protect anybody? At home or here? The moon, the Oni, the dragon.... He certainly hasn't been doing a very impressive job as the League's leader so far. It's mostly dumb luck that the only casualties there've been were from an alternate timeline, but that's still too many. How many more people have to die before he realizes that he isn't really cut out to be a hero?
None, he decides. He's done with it. Screw leading the Justice League, screw being Supernova, and screw whatever it was that Rip wanted him to be Supernova for. He would've screwed it all up in the end, anyway, there's no need to actually give himself that chance. Hell, maybe he's already screwed it up, there's no way to tell with the amnesia.
If he has, he doesn't really want to remember it. And he definitely doesn't want to wait around to remember how Ted died or if any of his other friends have died, too. The decision is quickly and easily made. He sends out one mass text before he throws his phone off the roof of the Suites and leaves:
I quit.
((Aaaand Booster's out! He won't be responding to anything on this post, on account of his phone being a shattered mess of electronics on the sidewalk by the Suites now, so feel free to threadjack around in here and ICly organize Operation Drag Booster Back.
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Damnit, he's really serious about this shit, isn't he?
*At least that explains why none of his messages got through.*
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"Oh. It did belong to someone? Oh, dear." He looks back down at the phone remains.
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*Kotetsu T. Kaburagi: Master of Insults.*
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"Good luck finding him."
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