Honesty is the Best Policy

[alittleblackmagic]

I-I've got something to say, too!

It's really important and you all have to be paying really close attention, OK?!  I'm pretty sure no one else has said anything even close to being this important.  I guess I should apologize if it makes you faint or something, but it's not really my fault if you're so bad at taking super important information.  I mean, it's the kind of thing that you only hear once in a thousand years!  Fighting monsters or liking someone or whatever is fine, but this is absolutely, positively the number one thing anyone's going to hear today!

...Is everyone ready?

I'm not gonna repeat myself! 

OK.  Here goes!

...Wait, I need to take a deep breath.  [Hnnnnnnngghhhhhhhhhh--!!!]  OK LISTEN HERE IT COMES!

I.... AM THE NUMBER ONE BLACK MAGE PRODIGY IN MYSIDIA, PROBABLY MY WHOLE WORLD, and DEFINITELY THIS ENTIRE ISLAND!!!!!

.........
......
....

Told ya it was important!  I don't have any lame secrets to keep, but that's still better than what all of you are going on about.  Sheesh, what's wrong with you guys?  You should be more like me!  There's nothing to hide or to be ashamed of!  If you've done something or if you are something, just say it!  There's nothing wrong with any of that stuff!

My name is Palom and I'm the greatest prodigy ever!  And don't you forget it.  And I guess Relm isn't that bad even if she is a smelly stupid girl and maybe I kinda like her hat; it's not exactly the greatest thing in the world, but I ca -- ....

.........[cue banging noises as palom throws the phone away in horror]

Comments

[snippysnipe]

You think that was loud enough? Every single person in the city might not have heard you.

[life_is_megas_wonderful]

Ahahahaha! You are so megas adorable, you know that?

[nomen_est_numen]

"The question is: How many people on this island, besides you, practice any sort of black magic?"

[stinglikeabat]

I still like Relm the best.

You might be louder, though! Ten points for volume and style!

[alittleblackmagic]

Huh? Oh, you're probably right.

I said, I'M THE NUMBER ONE BLACK MAGE IN ALL OF THIS DUMB ISLAND!!!!!!

[alittleblackmagic]

N-No I'm not!

.....But if I were, does that mean you'd want to give me candy more?

[alittleblackmagic]

It doesn't matter. I'll always be the best.

[alittleblackmagic]

H-How can you like her better?! She's a stupid girl who doesn't know anything about real black magic! She's just a fake!

[overwinters]

[ a slight huff. ]

There's nothing important about that at all..!

[not_good_not_wicked]

[Critical eye]

You're a magician?

[stinglikeabat]

I'm used to being pushed around by bossy little girls, for one! She reminds me of my sister and an old friend I haven't seen in a while. And those painting tricks of hers are pretty neat!

[alittleblackmagic]

What kind of reason is that?! You should just get used to being pushed around by bossy little boys. ...Um, super intelligent and really cool little boys.

And Relm's paintings are awful.

[alittleblackmagic]

Are you still jealous that I'm a better black mage?

It's OK. You just have to ask, and I'll teach you.

[alittleblackmagic]

No way. I'm a mage. Magicians are like those dumb people with the hats in the teevees.

[not_good_not_wicked]

What's wrong with hats?

[alittleblackmagic]

Nothing. If you're not pulling rabbits out of 'em.

[not_good_not_wicked]

That sounds like a pretty lame magician.

[alittleblackmagic]

It's all fake! Real magic's nothing like that at all! They shouldn't even be allowed to call it magic!

[not_good_not_wicked]

I guess it would be annoying if guys like that got confused for real magicians.

[snippysnipe]

[He winces.]

Kid, do I have to explain sarcasm to you?

[alittleblackmagic]

Well, no one could ever mistake me for anything but the real thing! Did I mention yet that I was the greatest black mage ever?

[alittleblackmagic]

I'm a prodigy! I don't need explanations.

That's when you sneeze and you get boogers all over the tissue and it's all kinda gross and gooey, right?

[not_good_not_wicked]

Yeah there was something about that.

[life_is_megas_wonderful]

Of course!

[nomen_est_numen]

"Being the best of one wouldn't be much to write home about."