Honesty is the Best Policy

[alittleblackmagic]

I-I've got something to say, too!

It's really important and you all have to be paying really close attention, OK?!  I'm pretty sure no one else has said anything even close to being this important.  I guess I should apologize if it makes you faint or something, but it's not really my fault if you're so bad at taking super important information.  I mean, it's the kind of thing that you only hear once in a thousand years!  Fighting monsters or liking someone or whatever is fine, but this is absolutely, positively the number one thing anyone's going to hear today!

...Is everyone ready?

I'm not gonna repeat myself! 

OK.  Here goes!

...Wait, I need to take a deep breath.  [Hnnnnnnngghhhhhhhhhh--!!!]  OK LISTEN HERE IT COMES!

I.... AM THE NUMBER ONE BLACK MAGE PRODIGY IN MYSIDIA, PROBABLY MY WHOLE WORLD, and DEFINITELY THIS ENTIRE ISLAND!!!!!

.........
......
....

Told ya it was important!  I don't have any lame secrets to keep, but that's still better than what all of you are going on about.  Sheesh, what's wrong with you guys?  You should be more like me!  There's nothing to hide or to be ashamed of!  If you've done something or if you are something, just say it!  There's nothing wrong with any of that stuff!

My name is Palom and I'm the greatest prodigy ever!  And don't you forget it.  And I guess Relm isn't that bad even if she is a smelly stupid girl and maybe I kinda like her hat; it's not exactly the greatest thing in the world, but I ca -- ....

.........[cue banging noises as palom throws the phone away in horror]

Comments

[snippysnipe]

You think that was loud enough? Every single person in the city might not have heard you.

[alittleblackmagic]

Huh? Oh, you're probably right.

I said, I'M THE NUMBER ONE BLACK MAGE IN ALL OF THIS DUMB ISLAND!!!!!!

[snippysnipe]

[He winces.]

Kid, do I have to explain sarcasm to you?

[alittleblackmagic]

I'm a prodigy! I don't need explanations.

That's when you sneeze and you get boogers all over the tissue and it's all kinda gross and gooey, right?

[life_is_megas_wonderful]

Ahahahaha! You are so megas adorable, you know that?

[alittleblackmagic]

N-No I'm not!

.....But if I were, does that mean you'd want to give me candy more?

[life_is_megas_wonderful]

Of course!

[nomen_est_numen]

"The question is: How many people on this island, besides you, practice any sort of black magic?"

[alittleblackmagic]

It doesn't matter. I'll always be the best.

[nomen_est_numen]

"Being the best of one wouldn't be much to write home about."

[stinglikeabat]

I still like Relm the best.

You might be louder, though! Ten points for volume and style!

[alittleblackmagic]

H-How can you like her better?! She's a stupid girl who doesn't know anything about real black magic! She's just a fake!

[stinglikeabat]

I'm used to being pushed around by bossy little girls, for one! She reminds me of my sister and an old friend I haven't seen in a while. And those painting tricks of hers are pretty neat!

[overwinters]

[ a slight huff. ]

There's nothing important about that at all..!

[alittleblackmagic]

Are you still jealous that I'm a better black mage?

It's OK. You just have to ask, and I'll teach you.

[overwinters]

Maybe a little..! [ .. wait, why did that slip out-- ] I mean-- well, that's what I meant, but I didn't want to say it..! Geez, this is so annoying!

[not_good_not_wicked]

[Critical eye]

You're a magician?

[alittleblackmagic]

No way. I'm a mage. Magicians are like those dumb people with the hats in the teevees.

[not_good_not_wicked]

What's wrong with hats?

I love you so much, Wighty. XD

[rainbowbrush]

[Relm knew this was coming. She was totally prepared to shoot down everything Palom said; she even had taken a deep breath and was all set to scream at him in retaliation, but that last part totally floored her.

And so, instead of a long, drawn-out shrieking match, she just kind of stops. And stares.]

no ew cooties >=(

[alittleblackmagic]

[OK it was probably safe to pick the phone back up now, right? ...In a few moments. OK, edge slowly towards it. No one had heard the last part for sure. It was all just a biiiig -- ]





WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?!!

/infects Wighty with cooties

[rainbowbrush]

[She tries to say something mean. Really, she does. But this stupid honesty thing won't let her. Instead, she mumbles something unintelligible.]

[trustycrowbar]

So, what was that again about not having anything to hide?

[alittleblackmagic]

It's not hiding! It's........... not wanting to make Relm's stupid ego any bigger than it is! Geez.

[Technically also true.]

[trustycrowbar]

Why do you have such a problem with her anyway?