(no subject)

[hatefriendleader]

[Karkat, after disappearing and reappearing, is for formality's sake being reprocessed through the labs just in case his memories have been stolen again. The staff tries to go through the script and repeatedly remind him that even if he remembers Sirocco, he might not recall everything and may be disoriented. He's been repeatedly telling them to shut up and leave him alone while being jostled around.

They knew this was coming. The pressure cooker just sprung a leak. He can be heard from the apartments easily.]


OH MY FUCKING GOD GET AWAY FROM ME YOU PRIMITIVE SHITSPONGED PSEUDOSCIENTIST NOOKSNIFFING RETARDS!

I fucking know! Anemoi! Jobs! Monsters! Apartments! My name is Karkat Vantas and I'm a troll from Alternia and I had several terrible friends and was an apalling failure! My symbol means "freak of nature who should be skewered full of arrows and burned alive for being awful garbage" and my lusus loved dead things that smelled like shit! My wriggling day is the twelfth bilunar perigee of the sixth dark season's equinox! I have an extensive collection of dumb romantic comedies on my grub drive! I remember all the pointless bullshit I rememered while I was in this dump and I remember all the new and inane memories I made with the amnesiac chump asshole brigade who lives here!

[He tears a calendar off the wall and begins kind of crumpling it up a little just for effect.]

How long was I even gone, anyway?!? Should I have aged or something? Was I in stasis? I can't fucking make sense of your bizarre so-called "human earth calendars!" What even is a "month?" Like four solar sweeps? Wonderful! The more time I missed in these zany human-infested behemoth leaving-grounds the less I can claim to have witnessed of the shittiest gathering of wiggler-fucking morons in probably all universes ever!

NOW WHERE'S MY FUCKING ROOM KEY?!?

Comments

[gogoghostpowers]

Sounds like you've been having a great day today.

[mokomanjuu]

Uwaa~!

It's Karkat! Mokona hasn't seen Karkat in a very long time!

[nomen_est_numen]

[He'll hear this from Gordon's phone.]

Please, just... throw that thing out, Gordon. You can do that, right? Just... tape its mouth shut or knock it out or something and... throw it off a cliff. There's a cliff northeast of the labs. No-one will miss it.

[has_a_blog]

....

[Mutes phone]

[trustycrowbar]

["We need to train you on new arrivals" they said. "There'll probably be no reason we'll ever ask you to use it" they said.]

Yeah, we missed you too, prostate-poker. Good to know you're the same shitty bundle of rage and inner-wiggler mommy issues as always.

[The other scientists look pretty uncomfortable with the language, and are keeping a good radius around Karkat. What's been slowly dawning on Gordon after EIGHT HOURS of listening to it is that this isn't antagonism, not really. It's a language.]

[...Either that or he has completely lost his fucking mind, which is a valid possibility and one he was actually pretty comfortable with at this point. He grabs the room keycard and flips it at Karkat, aiming for the head.]

Here you go. I'm pretty sure any collection of dumbass romantic comedies you had would still be immaculate; I can't think of person-one that would touch them.

[the_ko_stands_for_tiger]

*He looks up from his paper.*

Huh. Kid's back.

*He goes back to reading.*

[Video]

[youngestboxer]

...Oh. You're back, huh?

[video]

[theheirofbreath]

Hey, you came back!

[John missed this guy. He is hilarious to talk to.]

And they let you keep your memories!

[overwinters]

[ ... well, that sure is a yelling guy. She doesn't even know some of those words, so Ilya is just curiously staring, apparently unfazed by the yelling. ]

You were here before, but left?