The hell with cavemen [Action]

[has_a_blog]

Dave, with the help of one of his time travel duplicates, is carrying a pile of cardboard with stones painted on them towards the dumpster. Carboard with stones painted on them that may look suspiciously familiar to a certain half-ghost teenager.

Comments

[alittleblackmagic]

[Luckily, he is interrupted on his way to the dumpster by a high-pitched shriek and an excited ball of 5-year-old boy launching in his direction.]

Twins!

[has_a_blog]

[Collision is averted by way of hand planted firmly on Palom's forehead. Powerful black mage he may be, but he's still 5.]

Holy shit kid you need to calm down. I don't have a twin.

At least not that I remember.

[alittleblackmagic]

[Look left.
Look right.
Look left again.

...

Palom squints a little as he stares up at the two Daves.]

.............So. Did I hit my head bouncing on the bed again or something?

[has_a_blog]

[The other Dave speaks.]

Nah, he's me 10 minutes from now.

[alittleblackmagic]

[More staring.]

Shouldn't you ten minutes from now be talking to me ten minutes from now?

[has_a_blog]

I've got a time machine. How fucking hard is that to figure out?

[alittleblackmagic]

I've got a clock, too. It shows the time in numbers and things and everything. What's that got to do with anything?

[has_a_blog]

Not a clock, a time machine.

[He pulls out the timetables from...somewhere.]

I can use these to go back or forwards in time. It's handy when you need an extra pair of hands to do something, but also kind of a pain in the ass. I keep having to go back and make sure I do things right or I end up in a splinter time line and die.

[alittleblackmagic]

You can go through time?! Wow!

[Palom looks suitably impressed.]

All I can do is stop it. Wait, but... shouldn't the two of you explode if you touch each other or something?

[has_a_blog]

[The two Daves look at each other for a moment, then future Dave smacks his past self upside the head.]

"Hey!"

Obviously not.

[alittleblackmagic]

[....FLASH OF INSIGHT.]

...Wait! I've got a great idea!

[Run now, Dave. Palom beams as a fireball appears in his hand.]

So if I set the old you on fire... the future you should suddenly get a lot of burns, right?!

[has_a_blog]

Hold on a second, I like this stringy carcass of mine uncooked.

[gogoghostpowers]

[This is Danny floating in the air a few feet away.]

So...I'm guessing you got sick of it, huh?

[has_a_blog]

What kind of idiot wants to live in a cave all the time?

[gogoghostpowers]

Batman?

[has_a_blog]

Obviously he doesn't LIVE in the Batcave, he just does important Batman things there.

Also that guy is fucking crazy everyone knows this.

[gogoghostpowers]

Yeah, but when isn't he doing important Batman things?

Besides, what about Superman? Doesn't he have a cave too?

[has_a_blog]

Superman has a fortress. God are you retarded?

[gogoghostpowers]

Yeah, but it's a cave too!

[alittleblackmagic]

But it's the only way to test if you're telling the truth! C'mon!

[has_a_blog]

I swear to god if you set me on fire I will kick your prepubescent ass past next week and into an entirely different calender.

[Future Dave nods in agreement.]

[alittleblackmagic]

You're no fun at all.

...What if I turned you into a pig? It's pretty harmless. I'll change you right back. I can do it to myself right now if you want.

[has_a_blog]

....

...Can you do goat?

No nevermind. Dunno what fucked up part of my subconscious that came from.

[alittleblackmagic]

I do pigs and frogs. No one was really vengeful enough to figure out how to turn anything into a goat.

[has_a_blog]

We're drifting from my original point here, which is that I'm not a superhero. I didn't even want to join the stupid league.

[the_ko_stands_for_tiger]

This seems kind of an abuse of the space time continuum. Not that I object to you getting rid of all that crap.

[gogoghostpowers]

Yeah, I guess I can understand that. I'd get tired of something like that pretty quick too.

[has_a_blog]

Maybe. The important thing about time travel is to not over think it. It leads to ulcers and doomed timelines. If you just do what you were going to do anyway, things generally sort out in the end without any problems.

[the_ko_stands_for_tiger]

But using another you to take out the trash?

[has_a_blog]

No one else was around and I didn't want to spend all day on this.

[the_ko_stands_for_tiger]

That's... a reason, sure.

[has_a_blog]

Anyways we're still in the alpha timeline, so no harm done.