unholy mess [video]

[has_a_blog]

Okay so, I got this thing a while back.

[He pans the camera around so you can see a thing. It currently has splatters of green slime on it. Alternian Trolls can recognize it as Sopor Slime, as alchemy is the only source of the stuff in Sirocco, and someone has been making it.]

I'm not QUITE sure what it is, I think it's a device for creating things, somehow. The problem is lately I keep finding this green goo on it.

So, just alerting you of the very real possibility that there is a green slime beast loose in the city eating people.

Comments

[frumpyface]

That seems slightly... alarmist.

[has_a_blog]

Hmm...no, I think this is definitely a green slime monster situation.

[the_ko_stands_for_tiger]

How'd you come to THAT conclusion?

[has_a_blog]

Stands to reason. Strange machine I don't really understand, mysterious green goo? This is obviously a horror movie plot so I'm just cutting out all the skepticism stages and going straight for the dramatic climax.

[the_ko_stands_for_tiger]

I guess looking silly is a chance you're willing to take on this one?

[has_a_blog]

I will look as silly as shit if it's in the name of saving my irreplaceable friends from a green slime monster.

[the_ko_stands_for_tiger]

I don't suppose you've got tips on taking down green slime monsters in case the League needs to tackle this sorta thing?

[has_a_blog]

It's a slime monster, so if you stab it or punch it it'll probably just reform. You'll probably have to electrocute it or something.

[the_ko_stands_for_tiger]

Sounds complicated. What about freezing? I mean, it's just a giant blob of Jell-O, right?

[has_a_blog]

I don't fucking know. I'm going off horror movie cliches here, I'm the exact opposite of an expert.

[the_ko_stands_for_tiger]

I coulda sworn I saw a movie where they froze 'em.

[has_a_blog]

Great, lemme know if that works.

[the_ko_stands_for_tiger]

If I run into a weird green man-eating blob somewhere, I'll test it.

[has_a_blog]

Cool.

If you happen to get a clue who's been fucking with my...whatever this thing is, that'd be great too.

[the_ko_stands_for_tiger]

Sure, what the hell. Business is slow anyway.

[hatefriendleader]

Oh fuck are you saying they escaped? Shit!

[has_a_blog]

Yeah it-

Wait. What?

[hatefriendleader]

There were these green ecto monster things that went on a rampage last night, depending on your definition of rampage. If they're still around it's a big fucking deal.

[has_a_blog]

So there's ACTUALLY a green slime monster rampaging around and eating people?

Fuck.

[hatefriendleader]

Yes, obviously. Why wouldn't that be happening? You're the one who just guessed right, jackass.

[has_a_blog]

I wasn't expecting anyone to be stupid enough to actually believe me.

[hatefriendleader]

Oh haha, so this is what your species calls an "earth prank." Fucking adorable. Too bad you slipped in a puddle of ectoslime and landed facefirst into a sharp pile of barbed "Fuck you, this is serious." I for one wasn't making up the ghostmonsters.

[has_a_blog]

How was I supposed to know you were actually fucking around with monsters?

[gogoghostpowers]

Oh no.

Is it a ghost? Because we ran into a whole bunch of 'em not that long ago. So they're definitely here on the island now...

[has_a_blog]

I haven't SEEN any ghosts, but I wouldn't rule it out.

[gogoghostpowers]

Good idea. Especially since they can turn invisible.

[82the8th]

Fr8nkly, I'm surprised I haven't seen more slime around this pl8ce.
What do you people have against slime?

[has_a_blog]

what do you people have against buckets

[82the8th]

Stop ch8nging the su8ject!
We are not talking a8out your species's ridiculous sh8meless displ8y of sordid receptacles.
We are talking about slime!!!!!!!!

[has_a_blog]

all our slime gained sentience and tried to wipe our people out in a great war
since then all forms of slime have been outlawed except on shitty game shows for kids

[82the8th]

That sounds like complete 8S!
Which sucks, 8ecause it would 8e kind of gr8 if it were true.

[has_a_blog]

man my feeble human intellect cant match up with your mighty alien troll brain
we just dont really have much that needs slime

video;

[gandere]

Oh no, a strange green slime beast. Whatever will we do?

[ With a laugh, she shakes her head. ]

I can't even keep a straight face saying something like that!

[has_a_blog]

I don't think you understand the full severity of the situation. Your life could be in danger.

[Yup, still 100% deadpan.]

[gandere]

No, I don't think you understand. Your life is in danger.