[ACTION]

[hatefriendleader]

[Oh you know what he'd officially take the blue monster things over this. Karkat has no talent for not randomly experiencing misfortune in cases where misfortune happens to be amusing, and this is no exception. He has been unwillingly patrolling the hallways of the apartments pinball-style for fifteen minutes, and in a testament to the power of his superior alien whatever-trolls-have-for-lungs, he is only on his third distinct expletive.]


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Comments

[the_ko_stands_for_tiger]

Holy crap, that's gotta be the loudest, longest profanity I've heard in years! What the hell, kid?!

[hatefriendleader]

[Insert an "oof" or something every few syllables, it'd look silly written out.]

Maybe it's--because--I've landed on my--FUCKING--bone bulge--and thinkpan--at fucking mach 3--five hundred--times--in--the past half hour--asshole!

[the_ko_stands_for_tiger]

*Okay, let's see, thinkpan is probably his head, and bone bulge is -- oh. Ow.*

Green stuff's been knocking you for a loop, huh? Yeah, I been there. Need some aspirin?

[hatefriendleader]

What I need is a foam rubber barrier in which to lie perfectly still until this shit disappears forever and ever. I don't even know what your so-called "human aspirin" fucking is.

[the_ko_stands_for_tiger]

You guys don't have pain relief medicine where you come from? Or maybe you got some other fancy term for it.

[hatefriendleader]

What, like a sopor slime tablet? No thanks.

[the_ko_stands_for_tiger]

Not sure what that stuff is, but just figured I'd offer.

...Kind of impressive you managed to stay in one spot bouncing around like that for so long. Oh well, works for me! Hup!

*Consider yourself yoinked to non-slime territory, kiddo.*

[hatefriendleader]

Ugh. Thanks.

[the_ko_stands_for_tiger]

Think nothing of it. I've been in the bouncy rock tumbler a few times myself.

[nomen_est_numen]

A door opens. A Peacock head sticks out. It shouts hoarsely.

"KEEP IT DOWN OUT THERE, SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO SLEEP!"

Slam.

[hatefriendleader]

Without missing a beat, Karkat seamlessly finishes an expletive and appends to it a "YYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!"

[mokomanjuu]

[Mokona goes spinning past him on the stairs.]

Karkat sounds super angry!

[hatefriendleader]

[DOOFDOOFDOOFDOOFDOOF]

No shit!

[mokomanjuu]

Mokona is having a lot of fun!

[Awww yeah ceiling bounce.]

[hatefriendleader]

Karkat isn't. Karkat is not biologically composed of some freakish marshmallow substance impervious to all legitimate harm or indignity. Karkat is referring to himself in the third person to mock Mokona. Karkat thinks this is retarded.

[mokomanjuu]

Karkat sounds good like that! Mokona thinks he should keep talking like Mokona.

[hatefriendleader]

Karkat is already getting too old for this shit.

[mokomanjuu]

Karkat doesn't look very old at all!

[hatefriendleader]

Yeah, that would be why it's a bad thing. Nice detective work!

[mokomanjuu]

Mokona is a super-sleuth!

[hatefriendleader]

Why can't I fucking insult you and make you feel fucking insulted?

[mokomanjuu]

Because Mokona is special~

[hatefriendleader]

If only there were some connotation in which I could twist "special" around to be an offensive synonym for some other offensive term I have been known to use as an insult. Too bad there's nothing like that in our culture and it's a meaningless idea. Perhaps in the future that word will take on an ironic and vulgar dual-meaning due to its association with you.

Action!

[theheirofbreath]

[Hmmm, what's all that noise out in the hall?

..... Wow, okay, that guy looks like he could use a hand. John is making an attempt to grab him while he's ricocheting past and pull him into his room.]

1/2

[hatefriendleader]

[LONG INHALATION]

2/2

[hatefriendleader]

I don't care what kind of pointless massacre I remember in the future, this green shit is definitely the worst thing that has ever happened to me.

Also thanks, I guess.

[theheirofbreath]

No problem!

Man, this place is crazy. We finally get rid of the blue things and now there's green stuff everywhere.

[hatefriendleader]

Yes, it's a whole beautiful fucking rainbow spectrum of obnoxious horseshit. It reminds me of home. Maybe when it lands on purple we'll all drown or something.

[theheirofbreath]

Hehehe... I guess that's one way of putting it.

But why would we all drown because of purple?

[hatefriendleader]

I guess your species probably doesn't have seadwellers, or at least I haven't seen any evidence to the contrary. Whatever, it doesn't matter. The point is, I for one hope this grand Sirrocoan rainbow of pains in the bone nook is cut short very soon.

[theheirofbreath]

Heh...not that I know of.

I guess your species does? And they're all purple or something?

[hatefriendleader]

Yes. Congratulations. Puzzle solved, John human. There is an entire subset of our race with actual purple skin, the better to blend in with the colorful light given off by our purple sun.

[theheirofbreath]

Hahaha, that actually sounds pretty cool! Even if I can't think of a good reason for sun camouflage.

[Yep, let's just keep cheerfully ignoring the insults. This guy seems to get more hilarious the more irritated he gets.]

So what is your race anyway? What are you called?

[hatefriendleader]

Do you seriously not know? Wow, way to be culturally sensitive, asshole! I learned your shitty inferior race's name on my own when I got here, you know.

[theheirofbreath]

Geeeeeez! How could I possibly know what your race is called? You're the first one I've talked to!