[video] JE NE REGRETTE RIEN

[third_alternative]

[If anyone looks at the network, they will find themselves subjected to something that looks too...staged...too cinematic to be a normal network post. And too Spanish.

That's right. Rex is broadcasting the first episode of El Amor De La Pasion Del Amor. All 44 minutes of it. It is filled with overdramatic acting, evil twins, pregnancies, women fainting and falling to the floor in the throes of love and passion, long kisses that last an eternity with flowery backgrounds, and men ripping their shirts. Constantly. Regardless of what is happening, be it a confession or cooking breakfast. Because real men fry their bacon shirtless.

This is a public service and you should all be thanking him.

When it ends, he speaks.]

Oh man, I can't believe they have it here! Was that awesome, or was that awesome?

Comments

[trustycrowbar]

...

I agree with you. I can't believe that they have that here either.

[third_alternative]

I know! Isn't it great?

[Rex has never sounded more enthusiastic.]

[trustycrowbar]

Are you planning to broadcast these things... EVERY week?

[third_alternative]

You know...I didn't actually think about that.

But that's such a great idea!

[trustycrowbar]

HUH?

[Oh dear GOD, what has he done?!]

I didn't mean--hey, now that I think of it that'll probably distract everyone who's trying to work. Er, besides, they know where they can find it, right?

[third_alternative]

I'm not so sure about that, it's all in Spanish...

It'd just be easier to broadcast it for everyone who doesn't know how to speak it and find it themselves!

[trustycrowbar]

[Oh goddammit--]

Look kid, as thoughtful as that is some people just won't want to see that.

[third_alternative]

They can just skip it, can't they?

[not_good_not_wicked]

[This is the face of a deer in the headlights.]

What...the...

[third_alternative]

Isn't it great?

[not_good_not_wicked]

Who are these people? What language are they speaking?

[third_alternative]

They're the cast of the show El Amor De La Pasion Del Amor! And it's all in Spanish.

[not_good_not_wicked]

Well they should speak a language people can understand!

[third_alternative]

People can understand Spanish--like me, for one. You just have to learn it!

Or...just turn the subtitles on.

[not_good_not_wicked]

Subtitles? Whazzat?

[thevesselofhiswish]

[ Iri looks amazed. ]

That was so good!

[third_alternative]

I know, right? And this is just the first episode--it only gets better!

[thevesselofhiswish]

Oh, my! What happens next?

[third_alternative]

I'm not going to spoil it for you! You just have to watch it yourself to find out.

[thevesselofhiswish]

Ah! When is the next episode going to be aired?

[nomen_est_numen]

"What... did I just watch?"

[third_alternative]

El Amor De La Pasion Del Amor. It's a telenovela.

[nomen_est_numen]

"It's silly."

Oh, gawd, Shen, you are far too British-sounding to be able to use that word without sounding hilarious.

[third_alternative]

Well--yeah. But it's passionately silly!

[video]

[canthandleacape]

Wait, it can't end there! Was that Raimundo or Ronaldo?

[video]

[third_alternative]

I'm not going to spoil the surprise! Go watch the show yourself!

[video]

[canthandleacape]

But--! Fine, what time is it on?

[video]

[third_alternative]

8:30 on Thursday nights, the channel's Univision!

[alittleblackmagic]

Ewwwwwwww. I'm never getting near a girl again! Ew ew ew ew ew eeergh.

[third_alternative]

Oh please, like you'll be able to keep to that promise.

[...]

How old are you?

[alittleblackmagic]

Five.

[third_alternative]

Pfft, well no wonder you don't like it.

Try watching it again when you're older, pipsqueak.

[alittleblackmagic]

No way! I'm never watching that again. Show some cartoons!

[third_alternative]

Yeah right, like cartoons are any fun to watch!

[alittleblackmagic]

They're way better than this stuff! Geez! Who wants to watch people kissing?!

[faithful_kitsune]

Ah... that was...

*It was the worse thing she's ever seen! But she feels oddly compelled to watch more of it!*

...is there more of it?

[third_alternative]

Oh believe me, there's a lot more where that came from. A lot.

[solvings]

That was idiotic.

[Leave it to Sherlock to be the killjoy.]

Besides, it was obvious she was pregnant from the start.

[third_alternative]

Well, duh she was pregnant from the start. The exciting part is finding out who the dad is!

[solvings]

Oh, that? Obviously, it was Antonio. You didn't notice his jeans?

[rainbowbrush]

That was the dumbest thing I've ever seen! Ewwww ew ew ew! Gross!

[third_alternative]

What? No way! Come on!

How many five-year-olds are there around here anyway?!

[rainbowbrush]

I'm not five! I'm at least ten! Dummy!