anemoi | (no subject)

[Karkat, after disappearing and reappearing, is for formality's sake being reprocessed through the labs just in case his memories have been stolen again. The staff tries to go through the script and repeatedly remind him that even if he remembers Sirocco, he might not recall everything and may be disoriented. He's been repeatedly telling them to shut up and leave him alone while being jostled around.

They knew this was coming. The pressure cooker just sprung a leak. He can be heard from the apartments easily.]

OH MY FUCKING GOD GET AWAY FROM ME YOU PRIMITIVE SHITSPONGED PSEUDOSCIENTIST NOOKSNIFFING RETARDS!

I fucking know! Anemoi! Jobs! Monsters! Apartments! My name is Karkat Vantas and I'm a troll from Alternia and I had several terrible friends and was an apalling failure! My symbol means "freak of nature who should be skewered full of arrows and burned alive for being awful garbage" and my lusus loved dead things that smelled like shit! My wriggling day is the twelfth bilunar perigee of the sixth dark season's equinox! I have an extensive collection of dumb romantic comedies on my grub drive! I remember all the pointless bullshit I rememered while I was in this dump and I remember all the new and inane memories I made with the amnesiac chump asshole brigade who lives here!

[He tears a calendar off the wall and begins kind of crumpling it up a little just for effect.]

How long was I even gone, anyway?!? Should I have aged or something? Was I in stasis? I can't fucking make sense of your bizarre so-called "human earth calendars!" What even is a "month?" Like four solar sweeps? Wonderful! The more time I missed in these zany human-infested behemoth leaving-grounds the less I can claim to have witnessed of the shittiest gathering of wiggler-fucking morons in probably all universes ever!

NOW WHERE'S MY FUCKING ROOM KEY?!?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You're damn right I'm back, and I've got a gigantic lump of osseous matter to pick with you. It is a conspicuous protrusion I intend to pick, here. A selection of bone that might even be described as bulgelike.

People actually take you semi-seriously, right? Right?

Edited 2012-06-16 08:30 (UTC)

Huh? I guess so, why?

*Which is, now that he thinks about it, kind of weird, but not unwelcome.*

Because that makes it your fault that as far as my appraisal has determined this place is still terible. Anyone with a leadership position within a community has the sacred obligation to yell at everyone until they stop being idiots and start solving problems.

Clearly Sirocco is doomed without me in this role.

Whoa, hold on! You're blaming ME for everything you find wrong with this place? Come on, be reasonable kid! It's not like I'm the mayor or something!

Cool your rumble spheres, dumbass. I only blame you for the duration of time I was gone, because I think you're probably one of the more qualified people to do the job. Now that I'm back I will resume blaming myself, and also everybody for being a bunch of retarded garbage in the first place.