Bug Hunt

[prodigious-mage.livejournal.com]

[action, for Hiroshi and others within the vicinity of the bakery]
[Whenever Hiroshi arrives at the SuperSugarHappyFunWhatever Bakery, he will hear the sounds of screams, explosions, and flames.  ...But don't be too concerned.  The screams are 'haha!' rather than 'auuuugh!'  Whenever he gets downstairs, he'll be treated to the sight of Palom running about playing Whack-A-Cockroach with his staff.  ...He looks pretty happy with himself.]

Wow!  I think they actually got bigger 'cause I took so long to get around to it...

[Others nearby may wish to investigate the noise as well.]

[phone, public]
I've got a question!

So, um, if there are bugs crawling around in say, food supplies and that kind of thing, and if, maybe, you were supposed to kill them and you forgot because you were attacked by an evil house and then giant blue demon things that're gonna haunt you in your sleep forever, and then the bugs grew massive and they laid tons of eggs everywhere and it's possible that people might not have noticed when they were making the food and so you think maybe people might've - might have - eaten food with giant bugs and bug poop and bug parts in it and you kinda feel bad about the whole thing, so you're thinking about what you should do, the right thing to do would be to warn everyone about what might maybe could've possibly very slightly possibly happened, right?

...I'm just saying, if you've had any cupcakes or pie or cake or stuff like that in the last week, you might want to go see a White Mage.  ...Maybe.  Possibly.  You know, if you feel like it.

Comments

[has-a-blog.livejournal.com]

[Just staring at his screen. The words will come soon. For now, just staring in horror while the sandwich slowly slips from his fingers.]

[allonisaretrue.livejournal.com]

*Oh God, what the HELL.*

...I'm amazed the building's still standing with the way you're going about that.

*And here he is with a can of Raid, too. Geez.*

[prodigious-mage.livejournal.com]

Don't worry! It probably didn't happen! ...I bet bugs don't even lay that many eggs in a month.

[prodigious-mage.livejournal.com]

It's just the basement. I mean, it's already a hole in the ground, anyway.

[Palom catches one between the feelers and sends it flying into the wall. They are, by the way, apparently the size of cats (http://fallout.wikia.com/wiki/Radroach_%28Fallout_3%29) which the player just noticed.]

Don't you have a bigger can? I feel like that might be good for maybe one of these things.

[allonisaretrue.livejournal.com]

*Gyaaaaagh. Oh God, those Cockroach Onis are coming back to him mentally, if the damn things weren't revolting enough as is.*

How many of them ARE there?!

[prodigious-mage.livejournal.com]

...Is there a word for 'a lot' that doesn't sound like 'a lot' so you'll stay and help me and not run away?

[allonisaretrue.livejournal.com]

I don't think I have enough money for the amount of spray that's going to take. This place needs FUMIGATING.

[prodigious-mage.livejournal.com]

Fumes? That means you want smoke, right?

[Palom brightly holds up a fireball.]

[has-a-blog.livejournal.com]

This is a joke, right? It's a joke, and any second now we're both going to start laughing over how you totally had me believing that I was eating a bug gut sandwich. We'll all laugh over what an enormous tool I was.

[prodigious-mage.livejournal.com]

...Haha!

We can start laughing because laughing makes everyone feel better!... Haha.

[Luckily for everyone involved, the Sugarcrunch Bakery is probably competent enough not to include dead bugs in their goods, but Palom being the type of person he is can only assume that everyone is as careless as he is.]

[allonisaretrue.livejournal.com]

Whoa whoa whoa, I --

...Wait, that may be it. If we could create a controlled fire and blow smoke into the walls, that might send the roaches out so we can target them easier. But we'll need to make sure we don't breathe in any of it myself.

[prodigious-mage.livejournal.com]

...Wow, you really are smart.

But what if they escape and start breeding outside or something?

[has-a-blog.livejournal.com]

Haaaaaahaaa....haaa....

[He's eying that sandwich. Dare he look in it closely?]

[allonisaretrue.livejournal.com]

Our only real issue is getting them out of the building, right? Anyway, we can always look around the outside for cracks if that's what we're worried about. We should probably tell the people running the bakery to move their goods out too so they don't get contaminated.

[video]

[totallynotaspaz.livejournal.com]

[this icon is the only reason his response is in video format.]

[prodigious-mage.livejournal.com]

...You look sick. Are you gonna be sick? You should go see a doctor.

[prodigious-mage.livejournal.com]

Um.

...Well, I'm kinda imagining them taking over the whole island and growing thiiiiis big. [He reaches his hands up as high as they can go.] But OK. Just tell me where to blast!

[prodigious-mage.livejournal.com]

I think someone said that bugs have a lot of, um. Carbohydrates. They're good for you.

[totallynotaspaz.livejournal.com]

What did you do?

[has-a-blog.livejournal.com]

[Sandwich goes in the trash! Dave's response is quiet, as if he was talking from a distance from the phone. Also you can hear the sink running.]

That's protein, dumbass!

[allonisaretrue.livejournal.com]

*sigh* Let's not let our imaginations run wild here, huh? Let's at least start with talking to the management about moving their product for a while.

[prodigious-mage.livejournal.com]

Pro-Teendomas? Yeah, they have a lot of that stuff, too!

...The sandwich wasn't kind of crunchy, was it? I mean, even if it was, it's called the Sugarcrunch Bakery so it's probably on purpose anyway.

[prodigious-mage.livejournal.com]

Talking's probably what you're good at. I'll stay here!

[prodigious-mage.livejournal.com]

Me? Nothing. That was one of those questions that wasn't supposed to be answered.

[has-a-blog.livejournal.com]

Oh my god please tell me this conversation isn't happening.