001-[Action/Video] John: Introduce yourself.....

[theheirofbreath]

[Hey, know what this city needs?

Well, neither do I. But it's probably not yet another confused newbie. Which is unfortunate, because that's what just showed up. He was given the quickie explanation, but let's face it, that raises more questions than it does answers. He was also given a room, and residents of the Ermis suites can find a boy wandering around and staring at the various room numbers until he finds his. 413, if you're curious. Pretty much everything about him screams 'nooooob.' So feel free to bother him.

Once he gets to his room, he'll be bothering all of you anyway.   He has way too many questions right now, and he's hoping to get answers to a few of them. The video feed clicks on, and anyone watching is greeted with a hopeful smile.]

Oh, neat! It does video too!

[He gives everyone a hesitant wave.]

Um... Hi!

I'm John...

[He's just now realizing how awkward introducing yourself becomes when you don't know you at all. This  is already the most confusing thing ever. Maybe. Unless he's already seen the most confusing thing ever. It's not like he'd remember it if he did. Yeah, this place is starting to give him a headache. But he'll worry about all of that later. For now, he just gives the camera an embarrassed smile and continues.]

Soo... has anyone else noticed that the explanation they give you when you get here doesn't actually explain a whole lot? Would anyone mind answering a couple of questions? Like about our memories and those thingies we're supposed to find?

Comments

[hatefriendleader]

[Laughter? No, no, no, this isn't how conversations work. Better turn up the heat.]

Apparently you missed the part where I cunningly implied that you were a stupid dumbass asking retarded questions for idiots. Which, come to think of it, isn't surprising!

[theheirofbreath]

[He tries and fails to rein in his mirth anyway. This guy is hilarious.]

Is that what you were doing? My bad. Clearly your epic levels of subtlety just threw me off.

Lucky for me that you're so nice, right?

[hatefriendleader]

Is something wrong with you? What kind of sick fuck gets off on being verbally devastated like this?

[theheirofbreath]

Hmmm... nope. I think I'm doing okay, actually.

[He makes a show of looking around like he's searching for something.]

Yup, no verbal devastation here. No devastation of any kind. We're cool.

[hatefriendleader]

Oh, you're dissatisfied with my basic welcome-to-assholetown package? Trust me, John Human, you do not want any of what I unleash on people who are actually fucking worthy of being trolled. "Sick fires" does not even begin to describe the pestilent inferno I will start inside your fragile thinkpan.

[theheirofbreath]

[Wow, it's so easy to rile this guy up, he almost feels bad. But seriously? Too funny to stop.]

Aww, c'mon. You can't advertise "sick fires" and then back out after barely lighting a match. Are you seriously going to leave my 'fragile brainpan' unsinged?

[hatefriendleader]

I'll have you know I already caramelized the top layer with that first verbal firebombing run. That you haven't felt the agony of my outrageous burns yet just means I either literally brain damaged you with them or you were too much of a fucking moron to register the sensation in the first place. Oh wait! The answer is both.

[theheirofbreath]

[Tries very hard not to laugh. Fails at that miserably.]

Hahahahaha! Oh yeah, you sure showed me. Good job!

But before I head to the burn ward to get all these outrageous burns treated, can I get your name?