[Voice] How do you even lose something that big?

[stinglikeabat]

I finally remembered the rest of what happened with that Rasputin fellow. Or most of it, at least! I'm still not entirely sure what was up with that fellow. Some sort of demon cult nonsense that got out of hand, I suppose. The important part is that he didn't get to destroy the world. Sure, he wasn't the only one trying to do it, but I'm not that worried about what's happening back home. If Yuri and the rest of them are still around, humanity's in good hands!

Shame about that big castle of his crumbling, though. It was pretty nice, aside from all the screaming oozy monsters everywhere. And that layout with all the switches... Sure, it slowed us down and all, but I can't imagine living there! It wasn't actually that nice, but it flew, so I'm giving him points for style at least.

And speaking of style, has anybody seen a crocodile lying around? It's about three meters long, not counting the tail. And it's dressed like a pirate. It's pretty hard to miss, just call me or text me if you see it around!

((OOC: The crocodile, while stuffed, is currently animate due to mysterious circumstances. It will be threadjacking and/or hanging around in goofy poses in the comments.))

Comments

[not_good_not_wicked]

What's a crocodile?

[stinglikeabat]

A big scaly lizard with a long tail and a lot of teeth.

[not_good_not_wicked]

So THAT'S what that thing was.

[stinglikeabat]

You've seen it?! Where?

[not_good_not_wicked]

It was wandering around downtown somewhere.

[stinglikeabat]

Wandering?

It can't wander anywhere; it's dead!

[the_ko_stands_for_tiger]

A crocodile. Dressed like a pirate.

Did you drink something funny lately, Joachim? Be honest.

[stinglikeabat]

Ask Danny, he'll back me up!

...Well, the pirate costume's new. I had to cover the bullet holes with something, after all!

[the_ko_stands_for_tiger]

BULLET holes?!

[stinglikeabat]

A few of Misery's thugs shot it up. Crocodiles aren't nearly as sturdy as most of my usual bludgeons.

[gogoghostpowers]

[suddenly, there is a floating crocodile in a snazzy outfit floating at eye level with the both of them.

And then, it opens its mouth to speak, its voice thick with sarcasm.]

Thanks for that, by the way, I've always wanted to be a bludgeon and a bullet shield ever since I was a baby crocodile.

Shen really needs a 'bzuh' face....

[nomen_est_numen]

You're... not bringing it home, are you?

[stinglikeabat]

I've already brought it home once! Fitting it in the elevator was a bit of a pain, but I don't see what all the fuss is about... Are you allergic?

[nomen_est_numen]

To alligators? I... don't think that's possible, seeing as they haven't any fur or feathers or pollen--but that's not the point. There isn't space!

[flapflapflailawgawd]

[gogoghostpowers]

[yeah while you're doing that, have a dapper pirate crocodile casually strutting past.

It pauses briefly in front of the peacock to glance up at him...and then scoffs (however it is a crocodile would scoff in the first place).

It then continues on its merry way.]

[nomen_est_numen]

[...]

[. . .]

D'you mean that one?

[trustycrowbar]

[He stares. What is it about Joachim that makes him want to ask the worlds' dumbest questions? Questions like--]

Uh... Joachim? You don't mean a REAL crocodile, do you? Or is it real but like Shen and can walk and talk?

[stinglikeabat]

Well, it's certainly not a fake one!

It is dead, though. Maybe I should have said that earlier.

[trustycrowbar]

A dead... stuffed? [For what he can figure.] Crocodile. Wearing a pirate outfit.

Oh, I've GOT to hear the story about where you got that thing.

[stinglikeabat]

Well, it wasn't wearing the pirate outfit when I got it.

Remember Pegface Pete, or whatever he was calling himself?

[trustycrowbar]

Vaguely? He was one of the guys who got stupid on the Joker's drug, I think. I saw him down at the station...

...Joachim? Why is your stuffed crocodile wearing Pegwhatever's pirate costume?

[halfgod_allego]

...You still got that thing? Won't it stink up the place, I mean you're not a taxidermist... are you?

[stinglikeabat]

That I'm not!

That's why I paid one to do it for me!

[has_a_blog]

So I just want to be PERFECTLY clear on the situation.

You're saying that there's a crocodile with an eye-patch and pirate hate wandering around Sirocco that's big enough to eat a person in one or two bites that might throw people into a stewpot at the slightest provocation, and that you don't know where it is?

[stinglikeabat]

It's the same one I picked up in the ruins! I didn't think it was going to get up and walk off while my back was turned!

Oh, it turns out it talks, too. And it flies. It keeps showing up behind people at dramatic moments. I'm pretty sure it's just trying to bother me at this point.