[Voice] How do you even lose something that big?

[stinglikeabat]

I finally remembered the rest of what happened with that Rasputin fellow. Or most of it, at least! I'm still not entirely sure what was up with that fellow. Some sort of demon cult nonsense that got out of hand, I suppose. The important part is that he didn't get to destroy the world. Sure, he wasn't the only one trying to do it, but I'm not that worried about what's happening back home. If Yuri and the rest of them are still around, humanity's in good hands!

Shame about that big castle of his crumbling, though. It was pretty nice, aside from all the screaming oozy monsters everywhere. And that layout with all the switches... Sure, it slowed us down and all, but I can't imagine living there! It wasn't actually that nice, but it flew, so I'm giving him points for style at least.

And speaking of style, has anybody seen a crocodile lying around? It's about three meters long, not counting the tail. And it's dressed like a pirate. It's pretty hard to miss, just call me or text me if you see it around!

((OOC: The crocodile, while stuffed, is currently animate due to mysterious circumstances. It will be threadjacking and/or hanging around in goofy poses in the comments.))

Comments

[trustycrowbar]

[He stares. What is it about Joachim that makes him want to ask the worlds' dumbest questions? Questions like--]

Uh... Joachim? You don't mean a REAL crocodile, do you? Or is it real but like Shen and can walk and talk?

[stinglikeabat]

Well, it's certainly not a fake one!

It is dead, though. Maybe I should have said that earlier.

[trustycrowbar]

A dead... stuffed? [For what he can figure.] Crocodile. Wearing a pirate outfit.

Oh, I've GOT to hear the story about where you got that thing.

[stinglikeabat]

Well, it wasn't wearing the pirate outfit when I got it.

Remember Pegface Pete, or whatever he was calling himself?

[trustycrowbar]

Vaguely? He was one of the guys who got stupid on the Joker's drug, I think. I saw him down at the station...

...Joachim? Why is your stuffed crocodile wearing Pegwhatever's pirate costume?

[stinglikeabat]

Well, it was looking kind of ratty after Misery's goons got through with it. Bullet holes all over, and it was sagging a bit where it hit the toaster golem... And we did just have a perfectly good pirate costume lying around the trophy room...

Look, it was either that or the Triple Sevens suit.

[trustycrowbar]

[sdfasuogiuoej--]

Why did you feel the compulsion to dress it in the first place?!

[stinglikeabat]

I just told you, to cover all the battle damage!

Besides, it looks pretty snappy like that.

[gogoghostpowers]

[it doesn't matter where this conversation is taking place. The crocodile pops up in the middle of it, abruptly, poking its head in throw a third floor window or what not, to guffaw.]

Hahaha, that's a good one!

[and then it disappears.]

[trustycrowbar]

...

[Don't worry, his brain isn't broken. Just sprained badly. He may need therapy nonetheless. He points at the spot that Captain Scaly just was, mouthing wordlessly, and then.]

Look, heh. We found him.

[stinglikeabat]

[You'll get used to it one of these days, bro. Today is not that day.]

Good work!

...Did you see where he went?

1/2

[trustycrowbar]

[He points down the scale-covered nemesis to his sanity's escape route, lip twitching.]

He just ducked down... from that third-story window. And, uh, f-for the record...?

2/2

[trustycrowbar]

YOU DIDN'T MENTION ANYTHING ABOUT IT TALKING!!

[stinglikeabat]

Oh, that part's new.

...You'd think he'd have said something about my puns before if he liked them that much.

[trustycrowbar]

[Gordon groans and retreats to the safe haven of his palm again... what in the everloving hell, a talking crocodile that's been through a fight with a toaster golem and was shot up by--]

Wait. Who's "Misery?"

[stinglikeabat]

Some sort of witch. She knows the Joker. I'm not sure whether they work together or not, but she doesn't seem to like him much.

[trustycrowbar]

She works with Joker? Has anyone else but you seen her before now?

[Beat.]

I mean BESIDES the crocodile!

[stinglikeabat]

Why yes! This was actually the first time we'd met, but Dave seemed to know her, at least by reputation. He said something about cooking people.

[trustycrowbar]

Cooking... people?

[He should know better than to get any really good explanation, but he can always check back with Dave afterwards to fill in the gaps in the insanity. With more insanity, probably.]

[stinglikeabat]

That's what he said!

She didn't try it this time, though. Just gloated a little and vanished.

[trustycrowbar]

Anything else you can remember about her while you're at it? If she's going to be trouble, then the rest of us ought to know about her.

[stinglikeabat]

Come to think of it, Danny Phantom recognized her. From the way those thugs of hers were talking, she was already on the wrong side of the Justice League from the start.

And she gave her head goon some sort of amulet that turned him into a giant toaster monster. If she can do that more than one at a time, it could be real trouble.

[trustycrowbar]

Was the guy really that hard to take down? I mean, you're probably the strongest out of all of us!

[stinglikeabat]

You think so?

...Well. He was fast, hit like a truck, and took a good beating to knock down for good. I'm not exaggerating, either. I've been hit by cars before, and it was exactly like that!

[trustycrowbar]

When it comes to sheer muscle, anyway! Hey, not all of us can be hit by a car and live to tell about it!

[Technically he COULD take a hit with a car with the HEV suit on and live, but he wouldn't be in much of a shape to fight afterwards.]

Truth be told, I haven't had much time to evaluate everyone's combat abilities yet. But from what you say, it sounds like any one of us could take those toaster-golem things on in a one-on-one fair fight. It wouldn't necessarily be easy, but we CAN do it. However if this Misery thinks like the Joker at all... she'll be using 'em in ways that'll be anything but fair.