(no subject)

[alittleblackmagic]

[It is 5 o'clock in the morning.

For some inexplicable reason, little boys always need to use the bathroom at 5 o'clock in the morning.  Preferably, they call for their parents while they do it to optimize sleeping schedules.  Palom, lacking any parents, usually settles for being as disruptive as he possibly can, instead.  ...He remembers just in time, though, that Hiroshi has pretty much had the worst few weeks ever and compromises on a single loud-ish yawn instead.

.....

Come to think of it, he'd flopped into bed while Hiroshi was furiously punching something into the magic phone thing, looking kind of unhappy.  He'd figured it had been some last minute sort of conference with the old guy about whatever the instructions had been (honestly, he could've figured it out if he'd been given half the chance, he was sure).  

Well, Palom had enough of being left outta the good stuff.  The only thing to do was to borrow the communicator briefly and read through the messages to see what the secret was.  It would just take five minutes of being sneaky.

...Cracking open Hiroshi's door, he, of course, pokes his head slowly in to see...]

[video]
[It is still 5 o'clock in the morning.  Sucks to be you if you're not awake.]

Guys!!!!  Hiroshi's gone!!!

He left me this stupid note, and it says 'Dear Palom, I am a stupid moron and I decided to go do this all by myself and get trapped with a bunch of stupid blue ogres for the next kajillion years because I am a stupid moron and stupid morons go off by themselves in the middle of the night to get killed and eaten also feed the dumb octopus.'

Hurry up, don't tell me you guys turn these things off when you're asleep, we have to go find him!

.........Fine, I'll wake you all up myself!

[action]
[Sucks to be you even more.  Practically every apartment is subjected to incoherent high-pitched ranting and pounding.]

Comments

[text]

[alittleblackmagic]

[Palom still types like a five-year-old. ...Oh, wait.]

Y0u diid thfis, iddnt you.?!11!?!

[Oh whatever it's like anyone doesn't know who this is by now.]

[voice]
WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!

[voice]

[82the8th]

Because he was the best hero for the job. Why else?

[alittleblackmagic]

Well, yeah, it's his job in the end, but it wasn't something that only one person could do! There were like thirty people in that dumb meeting yesterday!

[82the8th]

Thirty people is waaaaaaaay to many to figure out something like this! They would just step on each other's toes and get bogged down by their own idiocy. The best solution only needs one person, and one other person to give them the idea.

[alittleblackmagic]

One person is just asking to die! There's a reason it's an adventuring party; you can't have a party with just two people unless you're the most boring two people ever.

[82the8th]

Exactly! One hero dies to save everyone in the city. If that isn't heroic, I don't know what is.

[alittleblackmagic]

It's not heroic if he dies halfway through, and the monsters get ahold of the staff! What if that happens, huh?

[82the8th]

What kind of attitude is that! Don't you have faith in your hero friends?

[alittleblackmagic]

I'm sure he can take care of himself, but that doesn't mean I'd push him in a cave of monsters alone, either!

And actually, I don't have much faith if he fell for your trick again after the last five times.

[82the8th]

Of coooooooourse he fell for it! He is a hero. A hero will do anything to safe the day, even if it means walking face first into their own demise.

[alittleblackmagic]

Yeah, and the person who sends him into the demise is the villain.

[82the8th]

And what about the one who motivates him to rise to greatness?

[alittleblackmagic]

Probably gets killed and forgotten.

[82the8th]

Oh, but I have no intention of being killed OR forgotten!

[alittleblackmagic]

You don't really think Hiroshi will feel grateful at all, do you?

[82the8th]

Who cares what Hiroshi thinks? His role in this story is ending tonight.

[alittleblackmagic]

What? It's like anyone else would ever think about thanking you, that's for sure.

[82the8th]

Then it's a good thing that I'm not in this for your human gratitude.

[alittleblackmagic]

...You're so weird! What, you're hoping the other troll will notice or something? Is this how you pass on troll cooties? It's troll cooties, isn't it?

[82the8th]

You're making this so complicated, when it's actually extremely simple! There is exactly one thing I want, and I already got it.

I wanted to be the hero.

[alittleblackmagic]

How are you the hero!?!

[82the8th]

Because I was involved from the very beginning!

The one who first discovered the bluebeasts.
The one who opened the path to seize the rod.
The one who convinced Hiroshi to make the sacrifice necessary to save Sirocco.

They're aaaaaaaaaaall me. Without me, there'd be no final victory and no epic saga to precede it.

[alittleblackmagic]

I was involved from the beginning, too! And you didn't help at all with finding the rod; you just sat around complaining about the puzzles!

[82the8th]

That's because the puzzles were stupid and boring! I had them all figured out the moment I stepped into the room. I was saving my energy for the real challenge.

[alittleblackmagic]

What, beating up the guy who came back into the past to warn us about the right thing to do? Good job.

[Palom has conveniently forgotten his role in beating up said guy as well.]