[voice]

[planet_rin]

I got a bunch of paintings. Apparently I painted them. Don't remember.

I get a weird sense of vertigo looking at these. My mind created these, but I don't feel any personal connection to them. They were painted by someone else - that other person named Rin Tezuka whose memories I keep getting. Two strangers separated by time and memory. I look at my old paintings and I'm suddenly weirdly aware of how huge that gulf is. I don't think I'll ever be able to cross it, even if I remember everything. Maybe it's better if I don't remember anything at all.

I wonder what I should do with these.

Comments

[wontdieifkilled]

Why not keep them?

[planet_rin]

I might. I feel weird having them in my room, though, because I keep looking at them.

[wontdieifkilled]

I guess you could hang them up in the main room in your apartment, but will you mind if people ask questions about them?

[planet_rin]

I don't know. Nobody's ever asked me about them.

[wontdieifkilled]

But you only just got them back now, right? Then they wouldn't have had the chance.

[mokomanjuu]

Even if there's another Rin, is it really good for Rin to forget all about the other Rin forever?

[planet_rin]

Maybe. I'd ask, but I can't hear her replies.

[mokomanjuu]

Saying it might help anyway.

[planet_rin]

So it'd be like... what are those questions, the kind you aren't supposed to answer?

[mokomanjuu]

Like the ones about one hand clapping?

...Mou. Or one foot clapping, for Rin.

[nomen_est_numen]

"Why on earth would you decide you don't want to remember anything?"

[planet_rin]

"It's like when you look in the mirror and don't look like you thought you did, and you want to go back to your old mental image but it's too late."

"Does that make sense? I'm not good at explaining things."

[nomen_est_numen]

"I... think so. I know I didn't think of myself as a warrior but apparently I am one. It may only be a little similar, but I think I know what you mean."

[planet_rin]

"Remembering feels like somebody else telling me who I am."

[nomen_est_numen]

"..."

"You know, I never thought of it like that..."

Now Shen is feeling existential.

[life_is_megas_wonderful]

Maybe you could give them to friends! Then they could save your art, and if you decide you want them back they can give them back to you! Otherwise, you're giving them the gift of art, and that's a nice gift, donchya think?

[planet_rin]

This is a good idea. Do you want a painting?

[life_is_megas_wonderful]

Ooh! If you're offering, sure! It'd really spruce the place up! It's been a little empty feeling in here since Kat-Kat left anyway.

[planet_rin]

I need to figure out which one is for you. Who's Kat-Kat?

[life_is_megas_wonderful]

She was my first roomie! Really super smart! But she did that weird disappearing thing a lotta folks around here do. So I've been by myself for a while.

[ voice ]

[overwinters]

So.. you're saying you would rather stay as you are right now? Even without any memories from before this place?

[planet_rin]

I'm not staying as I am, though. It's enough for me to be different from who I was yesterday, without also being different from some other person I barely remember.

[overwinters]

You're changing yourself every single day? [ ... ] Is there even some sort of purpose to that?

[planet_rin]

Everyone does it. I don't think I could stop if I tried. Maybe if I never got out of bed.

[overwinters]

I don't think I change at all from day to day. I'm just me, no matter what, right?