[voice]

[planet_rin]

I got a bunch of paintings. Apparently I painted them. Don't remember.

I get a weird sense of vertigo looking at these. My mind created these, but I don't feel any personal connection to them. They were painted by someone else - that other person named Rin Tezuka whose memories I keep getting. Two strangers separated by time and memory. I look at my old paintings and I'm suddenly weirdly aware of how huge that gulf is. I don't think I'll ever be able to cross it, even if I remember everything. Maybe it's better if I don't remember anything at all.

I wonder what I should do with these.

Comments

[overwinters]

It's not easy, but you can learn a lot by looking things up in books and things like that! If you search hard enough for the answer, you'll find it, that's what I believe.

[planet_rin]

I don't think my questions are the kind you can look up answers for in books.

[overwinters]

What kind of questions are you thinking about, then?

[planet_rin]

Let's start with an easy one.

Who am I?

[overwinters]

'Who am I'.. Well, you remember your name, right? I think you said.. Rin Tezuka just now, so you're Rin Tezuka.

[planet_rin]

That's just a name, though. It's not an identity.

[overwinters]

Then you could sum up your personality traits as well, right?

[planet_rin]

That would be a name and a description. There could still be another person with all those traits and they could change their name to Rin Tezuka, and I still wouldn't know who I am. It doesn't capture the underlying selfness.

[overwinters]

Then the answer's just useless, right? You are you!

[planet_rin]

That doesn't really answer the question either, though. See? This is hard.

[overwinters]

But that's why I was saying there might be a book that has something to say about it..! If you can't remember a lot of things you should learn, you can just look them up in books later, right? Maybe this is the same.

[planet_rin]

I don't think people write books about me.

[overwinters]

But they write books about what makes a person themselves, right? I'm sure..!

[planet_rin]

It's not the kind of thing where I can just look up someone else's answer and leave it at that.

[overwinters]

You should still try and apply it to yourself. It's not that difficult, right?