An Arthurian Knight in a Connecticut Yankee's Apartment

[seeker-of-law.livejournal.com]

[Carnivals!  Roller coasters!  Cotton candy!  Exposure to too many foreign sights was overwhelming his brain; though Lawfer assumed it had something to do with the memory loss at first, careful observation of the others' reactions to the spectacles convinced him otherwise.  'Theme park' wasn't even in his vocabulary; asking someone to define it for him had resulted in nothing more than a brief spurt of laughter.

Either he had lost far more memory than the others, or he was simply from a vastly different place.  Either way, though he could grudgingly admit the park was enjoyable at some points, it was far too much to handle in a single day.  He looked forward to the comfort of a bed and a cold bath.]

[A: The first challenge: the elevator.  Anyone walking into the lobby will find a man pulling at two stubborn doors that refuse to budge, despite being assured that they would lead straight to his room on the 3rd floor.  He could only imagine that the stairs were behind them.  If only they would open.  Banging, kicking, and trying to force them apart with all his might leads only to strained shoulder muscles.]

I have clearly been directed to the wrong location.  Where are the rooms I have been assigned?

[B: The second challenge.  At some point, a wild yell will be heard from Lawfer's room, after which he barrels out the door as quickly as possible.]

Demons!  Demons!  Inside a box!  Do you hear their voices?!  The room is accursed!  Quickly, call for an exorcist, a priest; they may take material form at any moment!

[Astute listeners will notice that the television is on.]

[C: The third challenge.  After the business with the demon-possessed television is cleared up, Lawfer will be knocking at your door, largely devoid of clothes, and well... Let's say medieval knights don't usually shower that often.]

My apologies for the intrusion, but I cannot locate the communal bathing area.  Where is the well from which the water is drawn?

Comments

[seeker-of-law.livejournal.com]

...?

[Lawfer merely stares with a slightly confused expression.]

[bulletserenade.livejournal.com]

You are, aren't you.

Look, I'll prove it to you.

[Jr. finally manages to get away from Lawfer long enough to find the TV remote and change the channel a few times.]

[seeker-of-law.livejournal.com]

Do not -- What -- Cease that activity at once!

[Lawfer is 500 years in the past, not stupid. He'll try and snatch whatever Jr. is holding out of his hand.]

[bulletserenade.livejournal.com]

[Jr. is nothing if not quick and nimble, so he easily dances away from Lawfer's grasp and begins changing channels.]

See?

[seeker-of-law.livejournal.com]

...

[Seeing as how he hasn't disintegrated yet, Lawfer will very slowly stop fighting with Jr. and edge towards the screen.]

...Perhaps... this is an illusion? Is it not truly there?

[bulletserenade.livejournal.com]

Yeah! You got it now!

[seeker-of-law.livejournal.com]

But that is ludicrous. Why would I want a machine that produces visions in my room?

[bulletserenade.livejournal.com]

For entertainment. It's like... watching a play. In the comfort of your room. You see?

[seeker-of-law.livejournal.com]

...And yet there are not performers performing plays constantly for my leisure. It is hardly any improvement, and I would much prefer to see them in purpose than through a scry.

It would be hilarious if Lawfer got addicted to watching crappy TV sitcoms

[bulletserenade.livejournal.com]

[Jr. sighs, clearly defeated. At least this guy isn't freaking out about demons anymore.]

Suit yourself, buddy.

Soap operas. By the gods, Maria, do not allow him to slip away! Kill the whore-wench if you must!

[seeker-of-law.livejournal.com]

((*in person))

...I shall.

Would you dismiss the visions? They are ... unpleasantly argumentative.

Is it bad that I really, really want this to happen now?

[bulletserenade.livejournal.com]

Yeah, sure, no problem.

[Jr. turns the TV off, showing Lawfer the power button on the remote as he does so.]

So, what's your name? I'm Jr.

No it is totally my next post. =D

[seeker-of-law.livejournal.com]

Lawfer.

I am in your debt for your assistance.

Are you serious. I can't WAIT for this. XD

[bulletserenade.livejournal.com]

Lawfer, huh? With a name like that, and the way you act and talk, you've got to be a knight of some sort. But I guess you wouldn't know right now, would you.

It's no big deal.

I make no promises on when it's made, though. =P

[seeker-of-law.livejournal.com]

I... suppose that may be true, though to my ears, it is your manner of speech that sounds unfamiliar. Thanks are given where thanks are due.

I will wait for it with excitement!

[bulletserenade.livejournal.com]

Huh, hadn't thought of it that way. We must come from very different places!

[seeker-of-law.livejournal.com]

I do not doubt it, considering this room is furnished with objects I've never seen before.

[bulletserenade.livejournal.com]

This is all pretty primitive to me, to be honest.

[seeker-of-law.livejournal.com]

Primitive? Then I must be from the beginning of time itself.

[bulletserenade.livejournal.com]

Nah, then you'd barely be able to talk at all!

Look, don't worry about it, okay? And if anything else confuses you, just let me know before you freak out and attack anything. I'll try to explain what I can.

[seeker-of-law.livejournal.com]

I did not 'freak out'; I was merely... requesting assistance. Thank you for your offer.

[bulletserenade.livejournal.com]

...Noooo, you definitely freaked out.

Anytime! I've got your back, buddy.

[seeker-of-law.livejournal.com]

Then, until the next time I have need of an exorcism. ...I would like to take a long-desired bath at this point.