An Arthurian Knight in a Connecticut Yankee's Apartment

[seeker-of-law.livejournal.com]

[Carnivals!  Roller coasters!  Cotton candy!  Exposure to too many foreign sights was overwhelming his brain; though Lawfer assumed it had something to do with the memory loss at first, careful observation of the others' reactions to the spectacles convinced him otherwise.  'Theme park' wasn't even in his vocabulary; asking someone to define it for him had resulted in nothing more than a brief spurt of laughter.

Either he had lost far more memory than the others, or he was simply from a vastly different place.  Either way, though he could grudgingly admit the park was enjoyable at some points, it was far too much to handle in a single day.  He looked forward to the comfort of a bed and a cold bath.]

[A: The first challenge: the elevator.  Anyone walking into the lobby will find a man pulling at two stubborn doors that refuse to budge, despite being assured that they would lead straight to his room on the 3rd floor.  He could only imagine that the stairs were behind them.  If only they would open.  Banging, kicking, and trying to force them apart with all his might leads only to strained shoulder muscles.]

I have clearly been directed to the wrong location.  Where are the rooms I have been assigned?

[B: The second challenge.  At some point, a wild yell will be heard from Lawfer's room, after which he barrels out the door as quickly as possible.]

Demons!  Demons!  Inside a box!  Do you hear their voices?!  The room is accursed!  Quickly, call for an exorcist, a priest; they may take material form at any moment!

[Astute listeners will notice that the television is on.]

[C: The third challenge.  After the business with the demon-possessed television is cleared up, Lawfer will be knocking at your door, largely devoid of clothes, and well... Let's say medieval knights don't usually shower that often.]

My apologies for the intrusion, but I cannot locate the communal bathing area.  Where is the well from which the water is drawn?

Comments

A

[frumpyface.livejournal.com]

...is this what I looked like...?

Ah, pardon me, milord. I made a similar mistake yesterday. If I may...?

[seeker-of-law.livejournal.com]

[Lawfer will blink in confusion, as it is clearly impossible to get through these doors, but he will stand by nonetheless.]

Of course. Any assistance would be most helpful.

[frumpyface.livejournal.com]

I confess, it is not the most obvious of solutions, nor do I understand it myself, but...

[seeker-of-law.livejournal.com]

[Lawfer watches closely as Erk... pushes the button. Aha. Nothing is happening aside from a light. As he suspected.]

Ah, you see? It is certainly a great curiosity as to --

Ding

.............

That is all that was required.

[He sounds mildly unhappy.]

[frumpyface.livejournal.com]

If it is any consolation, I did much the same thing yesterday.

C

[sealed-rose.livejournal.com]

[Rozalin took one look at the under-dressed man that had knocked on her door and immediately began spluttering and blushing.]

M-My word! What do you think you are doing?!

[seeker-of-law.livejournal.com]

[Lawfer, who had been largely reciting this automatically, seems to notice for the first time that he is addressing a member of the opposite sex as well. His instinctive response, after the dumb stare, is to dart around and flatten himself against the wall next to the door.]

G-Gods! Why are there women in this wing?! M-My most sincere apologies; I had not -- I would never -- I am terribly sorry.

[sealed-rose.livejournal.com]

[Putting her nose in the air was more than Rozalin being haughty for once. It was a way to keep her dignity with the half naked man.]

A-As long as you realize your mistake and do not do it again! Especially since there are bathing facilities provided with your rooms.

[seeker-of-law.livejournal.com]

[Lawfer continues to press against the wall as if it would be of any more help.]

C-Certainly not, milady. I... I will certainly atone for this transgression; rest assured. I pray you show mercy to an uninformed man...

...

In my room?

B

[stinglikeabat.livejournal.com]

[Well, this is totally a problem Joachim registers as fairly common and believable. They'd better fight them quick before they start breeding in the walls or eating people.]

What?! There are demons here?

[seeker-of-law.livejournal.com]

[Though surprised, the knight regains his composure quickly and glances back at his room door with unease.]

I can only believe as such. Images and voices, within a box. As if they lay within...

[stinglikeabat.livejournal.com]

[Joachim stalks towards the door, hands up in a fighting pose that is about half decent muscle memory and half utterly lousy.]

Never fear; I'll take care of this demon box of yours!

[seeker-of-law.livejournal.com]

[Joachim will find a restraining hand on his shoulder.]

Take more caution, man! The denizens of Hel are not to be trifled with... Were the problem so easily resolved with fisticuffs, I would hardly have raised alarm.

Lawfur's milkshake brings all the ladies to tag C

[manjuumagic.livejournal.com]

Mokona saw a lake nearby!

sob

[seeker-of-law.livejournal.com]

A-Again?!

[Lawfer glances about frantically for the source of the feminine voice, having sidestepped immediately against the wall, of course. It takes him some time before he settles on Mokona, at which point females become the least of his concern.]

...

What manner of beast are you?

[manjuumagic.livejournal.com]

Mokona is Mokona!

..Mokona might be a mascot, too! But mostly, Mokona is Mokona!

[seeker-of-law.livejournal.com]

Mokona is...

[There is silence for a few moments.]

...You are not a foul monster, suitable only to be slain for materials?

C, you finally get a dude

[hystaria.livejournal.com]

[ . . . well, Saleh is at least devoid of his cape considering it had a small hole in the back, but this man is entirely on another level. Though to be fair, he was in a somewhat similar situation regarding the "where do I clean" bit.]

Forget the well. There are interesting private facilities with your room for that purpose. Use those and spare the ladies and children their purity.

[Not that he cares about the girls or kids. Just saying.]

[seeker-of-law.livejournal.com]

[It is totally normal for knights to have no modesty in front of other men; totally no reason for fuss. Lawfer will take the man's words with some surprise.]

They would not be so crass as to house men and women under the same roof, certainly. It would be entirely unseemly.

And I'm afraid I did not see anything of the nature...

[hystaria.livejournal.com]

Oh, you haven't noticed? You should reevaluate how crass the management is.

[Right, right, moving on.]

It's a completely different technology from what you're used to. You just might not have recognized it.

[seeker-of-law.livejournal.com]

You may well be correct there. There was an adjoining room with a large white box filled with cool mists - Am I intended to use such a device? It seems a strange means to preserve water...

[...That is the refrigerator, yes.]

B

[bulletserenade.livejournal.com]

[Jr. was just heading to his own room when he heard the screaming.]

What, demons? Where?!

[seeker-of-law.livejournal.com]

Within the box.

[Lawfer speaks curtly, then throws an arm to prevent Jr. from approaching.]

Stay back, child. I would not endanger one of such youth. Inform those who have housed us here if you can.

[bulletserenade.livejournal.com]

The box? Hey!

[Jr. peeks around him anyway, then looks up at him in amazement.]

Please tell me you don't mean the TV.

[seeker-of-law.livejournal.com]

...As I have never heard of a teevee, I should assume not.