０２ ⚜ ［ｖｉｄｅｏ］

[promoteshell.livejournal.com]

Before I arrived here, I was an active member of the church. [ Non-capitalized because she hasn't quite regained that much of her memory. ] Seeing as this is the season most popular for the church, I've decided to get involved. Since you've all been worthless leeches to this city for the past few weeks, you should donate as much as you can to the church.

[ Without a change in her features, she continues. ]

By the church, I mean me. As an active agent of the church, I have a headache from all of the bells ringing and that song where a boy who's yet to reach adolescence sings about wanting me. This is for your own good.

Refusal will result in me following you around constantly reminding you that you're a heathen. Don't act as though I will be unable to locate you. I've been watching all this time. [ With that, she gives a light smile. ] Plus, the Lord will guide me to the sinners.

Please make checks payable to 'the Magnificent and Ever-so-Gracious Caren'.

Comments

[wontdieifkilled.livejournal.com]

[After all of that, there is only one conceivable explanation for all of this to Shirou.]

This is a really elaborate joke.

[promoteshell.livejournal.com]

That's not a nice thing to say.

[wontdieifkilled.livejournal.com]

Well, it is, isn't it? I'll be surprised if anyone takes what you just said seriously.

[promoteshell.livejournal.com]

You'd be surprised how easy it is to get people to take me seriously.

[sacred-thunder.livejournal.com]

[See this? This is Ky legitimately angry. Seems he really disliked what you had to say, Caren.]

Do you really think you can fool people with such...unbecoming demands for one of the sisterhood?! Stop using my religion to trick others!

[promoteshell.livejournal.com]

[ Oh boy, mistake number one: letting Caren know something. ]

Your religion? I was unaware the coming of Christ had taken place.

[sacred-thunder.livejournal.com]

[Like that will work when Ky is this angry. He's practically on a warpath right now.]

Are you really trying to derail this discussion by debating semantics?! You are making a mockery of the Church, and trying to scam people out of money in the process! These actions are inexcusable! Don't try to distract from the issue!

[allonisaretrue.livejournal.com]

Wow, thanks for further pushing me towards atheism. I was having a real moment of doubt there.

[promoteshell.livejournal.com]

I will pray for your soul.

And your money.

[allonisaretrue.livejournal.com]

How about you pray for YOUR money, and I'll worry about my own finances, thanks.

[pastmesucks.livejournal.com]

You know, I feel like I'm learning a lesson in multiculturalism here! Your earth human society really can impress sometimes. For instance, where I come from, religion is literally just a giant retarded circus of horseshit for a bunch of fucking clowns. And yet, yours is still clearly worse than that! I feel like we trolls have a lot to learn from you about being fraudulent assholes.

[promoteshell.livejournal.com]

You're right. The first thing you should do is ask for forgiveness for offending us by invading our world.

[pastmesucks.livejournal.com]

Yes, perfect, this is exactly what I'm talking about. Pretending I could ever actually feel remorse for wronging you in any way is just the kind of exercise in idiotic and malicious insincerity I need.

I'm so sorry, Magnificent and Ever-so-Gracious Caren, for intruding on your lovely planet. If you could find it in your gross alien circulatory system, please see to it that in the process of hiking my pants up to my armpits and flogging me to death, your weapon of choice be a fresh behemoth leaving in the spirit of my people's holy day, 12th Perigee's Eve.

[has-a-blog.livejournal.com]

Oh hell no.

[promoteshell.livejournal.com]

Hoh, heaven yes.

[has-a-blog.livejournal.com]

Well I can't argue with that. Nothing says "Christmas Spirit" like extorting everyone around you.

[washurhair.livejournal.com]

I taoist, so sorry but no money from me to you.

[promoteshell.livejournal.com]

Taoist you say?

Interesting..

[washurhair.livejournal.com]

Yes, Shampoo no care for silly fat red man or your church. But I support money maker-ing so good luck there.

[sealed-rose.livejournal.com]

...You must be joking if you expect me, a demon, to do anything for a church.

[promoteshell.livejournal.com]

A demon..?

I'm sorry, but I don't believe those things really exist.

[sealed-rose.livejournal.com]

Well you have proof that they do exist right in front of you.

[She gestures towards her appearance, with the pointed ears and wings that are clearly real.]

I am also not the only demon around. There is at least a couple others here as well.

[alchemygeek]

I think I'd rather be a heathen.

[promoteshell.livejournal.com]

Just a couple of dollars will send you on the right path if you believe just right.

[alchemygeek]

Don't have any dollars. And if I did, I wouldn't give them to you.