Punch Card Alchemy

[has_a_blog]

[Dave has braved the rain of goo in his typical ironic rap-ninja fashion for a series of incomprehensible errands. He's gone to look at a super sleek motorcycle of some kind, Kotetsu's powersuit, A series of enormous, expensive speaker systems, and...toothbrushes?

After this he makes his way to the roof of the Ermis Suite, clears the slime off of it, and turns it on. He then goes on to produce a box of brightly colored, glowing toothbrushes that have a high speed motor that does unclear things while it's on and a built in sound system that plays music whenever you brush your teeth.]

[Video]

Who wants a ridiculous, tricked out, high octane toothbrush?

((1% spent on how to use the Alchemiter))

Comments

[planet_rin]

Me.

[has_a_blog]

Alright, I'm in the downstairs lobby with a box of 'em.

[planet_rin]

I guess a gas-powered toothbrush is worth going downstairs for.

[BRB going.]

[has_a_blog]

[The best part about wearing sunglasses all the time is no one can tell when you blink in surprise at noticing that someone has no arms.

Okay no that's not true the best part is that you look totally sweet, but the blinking thing is also nice.]

Sup.

[planet_rin]

I am here for my new toothbrush.

[has_a_blog]

Uh, here.

[He holds the toothbrush out to her, then realizes she can't grab it without arms. He's not quite sure what to do with it.]

You don't have any arms.

[planet_rin]

[Rin looks down as if confirming Dave's accusation, then looks back up. The slow, panning look is extremely fluid and elegant.]

Apparently not.

[She settles for taking it via standing on one foot.]

[has_a_blog]

That's cool.

[He eyes the toothbrush in foot arrangement critically.]

You got that? I could stick it in your pocket or something.

[planet_rin]

I think I got it.

[Rin sits on the floor so as to free up her foot for examining the brush.]

What does this thing even do?

[has_a_blog]

Brushes your teeth.

It also lights up and plays music. And vibrates I guess. It's got some kind of tiny engine in it but I'm not sure what it does.

[planet_rin]

Apparently I am in for some festive mornings.

[has_a_blog]

Dude you know you want it that way. Festive mornings are the shit.

[planet_rin]

[Pockets brush, stands back up, and nods reverently.]

Thank you for the mystery toothbrush.

[has_a_blog]

No problem.

[trustycrowbar]

Where the hell did you GET those?

[beat.]

And yes, I do want one.

[has_a_blog]

Made 'em this afternoon. I got a box of them down in the lobby.

[trustycrowbar]

Huh, you made them? How? I didn't see a workshop of any kind around here.

[has_a_blog]

If I made them in a work shop, it would have taken longer than an afternoon. There's a gizmo on the roof for fusing items together to make new stuff.

[trustycrowbar]

I need to see that gizmo sometime. Something that can make a chimeric toothbrush is worth looking into. Hey... you didn't get any of that slime in those, did you?

[has_a_blog]

The way it works I don't think things can accidentally get spliced in. No horrible freaks of nature popping out unless I want them to.

[trustycrowbar]

That's a relief, I guess.

[has_a_blog]

Although I bet I could make some pretty sweet things with all this goo.

[trustycrowbar]

[Hm...]

You know... that's a really good idea. It's everywhere right now, and we may as well figure out have a use for it, right?

[has_a_blog]

I wonder if it melts or if it rots.

[trustycrowbar]

I can't say. But I do know if that stuff rots we'll be treated to one hell of an aroma in a few days. I'm going to err on the side of optimism and say it melts, for now.

[has_a_blog]

I think I'm using up most of my optimism assuming it goes away at all.

[number_one_dime]

What do ye mean by 'tricked out' and 'high octane' toothbrush?

[has_a_blog]

I mean that these toothbrushes are super crunk and will make you the fly-est dude in the hood.

Obviously.

[red_dwarf]

What.

Are you like some kind of mad scientist or something?

[has_a_blog]

Nah.

[red_dwarf]

Are you sure?

[has_a_blog]

I guess I DID have some kind of fetus in a jar when I showed up here.

But on the other hand what kind of shitty mad scientist who listens to techno and who raps?

[red_dwarf]

A what?! Man, what is wrong with you?

[has_a_blog]

How should I know?

[red_dwarf]

...Good point.

[has_a_blog]

Seriously, you'd think if there was one thing we could keep track of it would be that we're all a bunch of amnesiacs like some shitty online crossover fanfic.

[red_dwarf]

How the hell should I know what you've remembered?

[has_a_blog]

Anyways did you want a toothbrush or not?

[red_dwarf]

No. No I do not.

[has_a_blog]

Cool.

[theheirofbreath]

Can I have one? Where'd you even get them?

[has_a_blog]

Made 'em. There's an alchemiter on the roof, go fuck around with it sometime.

[theheirofbreath]

What's an alchemiter?

[has_a_blog]

Some kinda machine that lets you combine things to make new things. It's actually pretty sweet.

[theheirofbreath]

Cool...

You mean you just put things in and it gives you something new? Can I try it?

[has_a_blog]

I just told you to mess with it, didn't I?

[theheirofbreath]

Sweet!

[Yeah, he is just collecting everything he can carry and bringing it with him. So many things are getting chucked into that alchemiter today. Shit, let's be Santa.]