[identity profile] shoas-stabs.livejournal.com
[Oh fuck the hell no. Whatever that freaky train thing was did NOT.

Slick is dressed like this asshole. More unforgivably yet, the costume resists being torn to shreds. He storms through the halls of the apartment complex. Gotta find the one responsible. Gotta stab him multiple times while saying something pithy and relevant to the scenario. It'll be great.]

One of you fuckers knows how to fix this, I know you do! Come on, out with it! Fucking clowns! Makes me wanna puke! Gonna blow up that train, bleed out the bastard conductor...


Oct. 23rd, 2011 09:18 pm
[identity profile] sp8dersona.livejournal.com
I've 8een living here for a while now, and I have not 8een spending it idly! No, as I said, I've 8een figuring out you humans as 8est I can. With how ridiculously weeeeeeeeird you are, this is not easy, 8ut 8etween watching people and reading up on the su8ject, I think I'm getting the h8ng of it!

1. The human lifecycle seems to start with appearing randomly out of nowhere, in the middle of the street.
2. The new human is then a8ducted 8y adult humans who, as an initiation trial, attempt to talk them to death. This seldom works.
3. Once this trial is overcome, humans all get crammed into one pre-m8de 8uilding to live together. Sometimes multiple of them even live in the s8me room!
4. Despite these conditions, the goal is apparently NOT for the stronger humans to slaughter the weaker ones and advance the more desirable genes 8ack into the pool. No deathmatches in the hallways, no cullings of any kind!
5. The primary activity of at least this swarm of humans involves forming 8adass adventuring squads and r8iding the 8east-ridden outskirts to collect crystals. May8e this is why you're not trying to kill each other - if there were any fewer of you, the monsters would walk right in and slaughter everyone????????
6. At some point, 8ased on some sort of complicated set of specific8tions a8out things like gender for some reason, a human picks exactly one m8, for life. For life!
7. This is followed by a distur8ingly 8iological process that I'm not even going to talk a8out, oh my gog, which somehow results in more humans.
8. No horns! And your skin comes in all sorts of colors, all of them weird.

Humans sure are confusing! ::::?


[[2% handwaved memory regains - 1% on the name Marquise Spinneret Midfang, and 1% on the handle arachnidsGrip.
[identity profile] shoas-stabs.livejournal.com

[Slick is not a man who minces words. Or uses them at all if he doesn't have a threat to deliver, something to complain about, something like that. And, well, he has some questions, but mostly he's just operating under the assumption that he's in enemy territory and took a nasty blow to the head. As he has no keys on his person, it more than stands to reason that the minivan parked near the corner is an enemy minivan. He may not have his memories, but he does have a big honking iron club shaped like a horse's head, and dammit, it's high time for him to do what comes naturally.

The car alarm stops going off after he manages to cave the hood in on the engine.]

[Later; Video]

So I guess nobody remembers anything around here. And the ugly torsos in charge can give you your memories back, but only after you mine some fancy gems for 'em. How convenient.

You're all fuckin' suckers. This is a free labor racket if I ever saw one. Makes me sick; you stupid mooks fall for it like a ton of retarded bricks while the assholes in the lab make off to the pawn-shop with all their precious anemu or whataretheycalled. I ain't buyin' it!


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